Well....

[Gs172003]

I was intimate with my husband last night and it wasn't too bad. My mind went wandering and actually started playing a song but I was able to enjoy it otherwise. I did cry at one point, not sure why but it is what it is. I did allow him to finish. Today I'm in one hell of a crappy mood. Why.

 

[Gs172003]

I need to rephrase that. I started singing a song in my head. Over and over. It wasn't on purpose it just was. Of all things, "shell be coming around the mountain". Alrighty then.

 

[illusionist]

Did he stop when you cried?...I only ask as my ex used to continue, although he would offer up a half hearted concern, then carry on. His lack of concern, respect would hit me hard the next day....though it took time to work out what those feelings were.

 

[EveHarrington]

Maybe you're mad that he didn't try to get you to finish? Just a thought.

 

[Gs172003]

Did he stop when you cried?...I only ask as my ex used to continue, although he would offer up a ha...

Yes he stopped and asked if I was OK. Honestly I don't like it when he talks to me because then I have no choice but to focus on what's going on if that makes sense

 

[illusionist]

Try breaking down your feelings.....what you feel, when did they start, have the feelings worsened or lessened as the day has went on, what else has happened round about you. That's how I start to work things out.

 

[Gs172003]

Try breaking down your feelings.....what you feel, when did they start, have the feelings worsened...

It started when he got up. It got worse the more he interacted with me. One of my triggers is hearing the door open so he lets me know he's coming out by text before he does first thing in the morning. This time the first thought I had was "oh no what will he want" but the he was kinda vague at first.

I might have just answered my own question

 

[illusionist]

Go with that.

 

[Gs172003]

Go with that.

I have come to realize that there are times I'm not sure who "he" is. Thanks

 

[illusionist]

You are welcome. I was told many years ago that we hold our own answers, if we learn to find them.....holds true for many things.

Take care.

 

[Gs172003]

I'm terrible at this

 

[illusionist]

You are not terrible at this.....you just did it. It just takes time to learn where you go from there. Keep breaking it down.....give yourself space and time in between. I see it like the reverse of building a jigsaw.....you eventually get to one piece....that's what needs to be sorted, or acted upon.

Ask yourself when do you feel that you don't know who he is?.......look at the scenarios. Acknowledge to yourself when you feel this.