General What About Ptsd And Retirement Does It Get Easier/better?

[IvyMillie]

I'm wondering what my future holds. My husband has PTSD from the Vietnam war so he is older obviously. He has two years until he retires.

Now alot of his stress comes from work. He has to deal with some pretty awful people. He is also in sales and works on commission so money is always an issue with him. His mood now revolvs alot around what happens at work.

I'm anxious though as I want to hope that his PTSD will get better when he is retired, but then I worry because then he will have more time on his hands. Will more time on his hands be good or bad?

Any replies most welcome and if any sufferers have some feedback too that would be great.

 

[Eleanor]

Hi Ivy, I don't know about your H. My H has been in and out of "real jobs" during our marriage. The bad ones have made his PTSD worse. I've been known to tell him that we can't "afford" to have him work for bad bosses. He is better when he is not working at a paying job (we have a business that we run to - and he struggles with that for different reasons) . BUT then he starts feeling like he is losing his identity... and so he looks for work again. Sigh. We are just starting to get really serious about managing his energy/stress so I don't know what work for him will look like in the future. He likes what he does - he is just not "employee material" and so - abuse being the most popular management style in his work - it is problematic.

Of course retirement itself is a problem for a lot of people. What is he going to do after?

 

[Toria]

Hi IvyMillie - I'm having a lot of trouble with my Husband and the stress of his job at the moment and I was just thinking last night that he should take (very) early retirement and then things might calm down...

This is going to sound very patronising towards him - and I'm sorry - but does he have a hobby? Or an interest? Woodwork? Home improvements? Walking? Gardening?

The other thing would be volunteering for a charity - would that be his sort of thing?

I think Eleanor hit the nail on the head about a person loosing their identity when they stop work. My Dad (none PTSD) took early retirement 7 years ago... and lasted all of 6 weeks before he went back to work and 7 years on is back in his old job and at 67 showing no signs of stopping!!!

 

[Robert D. Cubby]

I retired and it helped, somewhat, to be away from the stressors involved in my PTSD. On the flip side, I feel I lost a lot of the people who served to support me.

We still stay in touch via email, but I miss the sit down discussions we had. If they have that kind of work based support, they may want to re-consider early retirement.

 

[Pale Warrior]

Hi IM,

My husband is trying to come to terms with never working again in his old career. PTSD & physical impairments have conspired to close that route forward and it has made him depressed and angry by turns.

As others have said, there are isses surrounding identity and work, often more pronounced in men, cameraderie and mental stimulation. Many of these can be mitigted by volunteering and hobbies.

A caveat re voluntary work: there are some very unprofessional organisations out there and they can be abusive and dismissive when a volunteer has PTSD or impairments, my husband was badly hurt by one such and it was a regressive step in his healing. Make sure that where ever he may volunteer, they have a proper volunteer policy and management procedure with things like expenses re-embursed as a matter of course.

Don't forget education, there are heaps of both academic and vocational courses available to engage and stimulate.