What are dissociative parts? what is ifs (internal family systems) ?

[shimmerz]

Okay so I may chunk this post down (bite sized pieces) and come back to do a little more in different posts. I haven't had my coffee yet! No idea how my brain is working yet! :nailbiting: Hopefully I will make some sense. Please keep in mind that I am speaking from a mixture of theoretical and experiential.

First, let me say that I dissociate co-consciously. I know what is happening when my dissociated part comes out - I have an 'observer' voice in my mind that is helping me get to safety. To understand where safety lies. Sometimes. This is generally when I feel threatened by another person in the room I am in.

Other times I know I am dissociating because my right foot turns in (somatic response). I know to look around and see what is happening and most times - in this state - I need an external supporter to prompt me to get to safety. This part is threatened by energies. Maybe someone is having an argument in the other room,

I feel like dissociated parts are parts of us that are frozen in time because while I was in that time/space of being terrorized/raped/traumatized/etc that I was unable to escape. Or - there was the impression that I was unable to escape. So that part was not able to develop into an adult version of myself.

I use psychodynamics, (to allow my body to complete the action of escape) and visualization (to imagine myself completing the action of escape).

So: what are dissociative parts?

So the first step is to figure out what is a dissociative part. How to identify it.

Friends can see that my eyes are off. It is obvious that I am not in the moment.
Or, my right foot turns in.
Or, freeze takes place.
Or rage.
Stuff that is out of character. And I am acting out these things regardless of whether there is real danger around. My dissociated part is not able to understand that time has gone by. As a matter of fact, my dissociated parts really don't understand time at all. And I believe that is because the time construct is in a higher part of the brain and is not accessible while I am dissociated.

Another clue for me is that the part is not accessible 'on demand'.

For instance, when I first started going to T-doc I would leave the session and I would be breathing like a little toddler that has cried too much. When I told T-doc about it next session he asked if I could show him. I absolutely couldn't call it up.
Dissociated. But the key was that I could remember that that is how I was breathing. Where I was. How I felt about it.
Co-conscious dissociated. Not that part anyway.

And I believe that different parts can be either co-conscious or DID. Each part has it's own properties and characteristics depending on what happened. This is normally something that happens with a multi-fragmented self. Repeated traumas at an early age.

 

[shimmerz]

Most people that have dissociated parts have parts stuck at the age of abuse/abuses, some protectors, critics, etc.

Completely agree with this. Keep in mind that there is an 'emotion' or 'emotions' stuck there too. A group of emotions that I was too young to understand. As I am working through this stuff, I recognize when the feeling washes over me. The idea is to try to break it down into what those emotions might have been. Super freaking hard to do.

In EFT or Matrix ReImprinting these parts are called Echos.
I used to have a Shaman that called this experience Soul Braiding.

If you look up Matrix ReImprinting videos they should quite a bit about the Echo - which helped me tremendously understand what these Echos or Parts need in order to come to resolution.

Exiles, protectors, firefighters, managers and the Self.

I really don't relate much to this at all. I mean, some of my supposed protector parts do really f*cked up things in order to protect me and that is no protection at all. I have a hard time calling something something that it isn't. IFS is something I used loosely (without the names) to understand the inner critic states I had. I could SWEAR my Mother was in there. Or my Ex Husband. But those 'tapes' were relegated to parts as well. For instance, my Ex Husband tape in my head used to be similar to my Mother tape in my head. They both hated me really. But a younger part of myself couldn't relate to my Ex Husband because I hadn't met him yet.

So for me, it was better to deal with the parts that were frozen in a specific time period (like as an infant for example). I knew what the infant parts limitations were and knew developmentally what that infant needed to learn in order to move forward and pick up some strategies from 'me'. It made it much simpler to figure out in my own head how to help these parts through their trauma and be able to pick up coping skills from say my 'professional' part. Or my mother part.

So IFS wasn't at all a help to me. Only in such a way that I was able to understand that each of these parts was attempting to keep themselves safe. Mainly in a developmentally stunted way. And that developmental delay was a clear indicator to me as to the approximate age of these parts.

No idea if that makes sense to anyone else but me.

 

[Abstract]

Makes sense to me.

 

[ILoveLife]

Makes sense to me too, shimmerz.

I really don't relate much to this at all

Me neither. My parts went bezerk with IFS, I would wake up with yelling in my head that it was all wrong. Once I quit that T, they calmed down. Really freaked me out at first.

it was better to deal with the parts that were frozen in a specific time period

Same here, that's what I'm doing in therapy now.

 

[Anarchy]

Guy Macphearson interviewed Richard Schwartz, the guy who developed ifs
In his trauma therapist podcast number 163.

It's an interesting listen.
He gives his account of how it came about and his thoughts on parts.

 

[EveHarrington]

My recommendation is that once you find a parts theory that works for you, run with it and do NOT try to integrate different parts theories as this will just confuse you.

 

[Swift]

Thanks for the replies all. I'll definitely check out all the sources once I can handle it.

@EveHarrington that's really interesting advice. To me, no one theory I've come across explains everything adequately, so I do kind of use bits of what works.... I do that with everything though, it seems to work OK for my ragtag brain but I can get that it wouldn't work for other people.

 

[MyWillow]

So I’m still going through an assessment phase with my psydoc as it keeps getting derailed by dissociation but it strikes me that, whilst she absolutely recognises parts, she emphasises my role in calming my WHOLE self, to reassure my WHOLE body that it’s safe now and to tell it I’m finally listening to the signs my WHOLE body has been trying to send me for years. Again, I think Janina Fisher explains that really well. One of her articles that I keep coming back to with new meaning as I gain more understanding of my own situation...

https://janinafisher.com/pdfs/dissociation.pdf

 

[shimmerz]

once you find a parts theory that works for you, run with it and do NOT try to integrate different parts theories

Strongly agree with this.

she emphasises my role in calming my WHOLE self, to reassure my WHOLE body that it’s safe now and to tell it I’m finally listening to the signs my WHOLE body has been trying to send me for years.

I think this is really good too, because once the process of re-embodiment starts, each of the 'parts' needs to be part of the process. So to bring into conscious awareness the fact that there actually IS a body is a great start at having common ground (the body) for all parts to focus on when taking integration into consideration. Brilliant really.

 

[Ronin]

I think ^^ would depend on what and how you dissociate the most, though.

I am fairly aware of my body / surroundings, to the point of everything being too much and fragmentating and distant because it is too much and I need to not care, sort of need *some* level of distance from it to be functional even in times I am relatively left alone and at ease, so it is more balances and timing than a lack of knowing of a body (We know there is a body, awful and umaneuveurable and stressful as hell as I am not can jump everywhere and fall on everything and just roll with it teen anymore :D. Not even getting started on social fun that is not fun with everyone settling down.)

So this wholebody stuff, come together and down to it does not really ring entirely true (but I am having difficulty articulating why).