I am completely DRAINED. I got nothing, feeling nothing, empty, no emotions, no feelings, just nothing. Then this deep feeling in the pit of my stomach, it feels like anger. yep I'm pretty sure it's anger, I'm just pushing it down, pushing it down, cause I'm scared to actually feel it. I don't want to feel it, cause I know with the anger there is pain and that pain is worse than anything I've felt before. BUT I want to heal, so in order to heal I must let the anger out. Let it come out of that place I've pushed it, invite it in, let it sit down next to me, make friends with these painful feelings so I can heal. because if I don't let it in, then I won't heal. The gifts are worth the pain, so now trying to accept my feelings and know that it's okay.