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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

Exhausted.
In physical pain. Neck, shoulder, spine are hurting quite bad. I don't know if I can keep working at my job because of the pain. I don't know what else I can do.
Emotional: Numb.
 
Feeling numb and exhausted. Only been sleeping 2 to 4 hours per night for a month. I can handle the lack of sleep and can bounce back - but the mental exhaustion gets me.
 
I am completely DRAINED. I got nothing, feeling nothing, empty, no emotions, no feelings, just nothing. Then this deep feeling in the pit of my stomach, it feels like anger. yep I'm pretty sure it's anger, I'm just pushing it down, pushing it down, cause I'm scared to actually feel it. I don't want to feel it, cause I know with the anger there is pain and that pain is worse than anything I've felt before. BUT I want to heal, so in order to heal I must let the anger out. Let it come out of that place I've pushed it, invite it in, let it sit down next to me, make friends with these painful feelings so I can heal. because if I don't let it in, then I won't heal. The gifts are worth the pain, so now trying to accept my feelings and know that it's okay.
 
It IS okay! And you are doing so good - clap clap!!

I feel pretty damn alright actually, but I don't know if it's a facade or not.. I feel guilty for not feeling worse.. one of my best friends has slipped into some kind of whack psychotic delusional state and is in a locked psych ward, none of us are allowed to visit her. Has it not sunk in yet? It happened so fast. Am I heartless? when ever something serious happens I have no emotional reaction. f*ck. I am worried about her, worried that she wont ever be the same again, but then I'm not either.. she is a survivor just like I am.. and if she has been through all that she has been through already surely she can make it through this. f*ck i don't know.. f*ck.
 
I feel ashamed and afraid of my :eek: frustration and anger with Doc. when I am too greatly reminded of that special way of her's of reading minds, :mad: drawing unreasonable conclusions :(, and intefering with proper medical care. :cautious:
 

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