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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

I am very, very lonely right now :(

Partner is away visiting his kids (and ex) and my daughter and even my (annoying more often than not) parents are at a party I didn't want to go to, because I am uncomfortable around people I don't know. Plus everyone besides me is sick now, so I have to keep my distance, if I don't want to get sick.

But it is leaving me feeling very, very alone.

I am not sleeping well either now, last three nights, 1st one didn't sleep at all (that was Christmas eve, and I couldn't, because there was too much to do), boxing day could not sleep till 3:30 am and last night 4:30 am.

Not helping things at all, and I feel displaced out of my normal routine.

*sigh* In my head I know it could be worse... partner is probably up to his eyeballs in stress.

But it sure does not feel like it right now. :(
 
I am feeling content. I am proud I managed having the house full. We had an amazing Boxing Day. All the people I love most under my roof.

We went to a local pub for lunch. Then in the evening we played board games. There were no arguments just so much laughter and fun. My body was hurting because I'd laughed so much. It was nice to feel like that again. I'd forgotten I could enjoy family get togethers. It does help that we a re a small family, only 6 but is was really nice.
 
I am anxious about going to see my tdoc, it's been a couple of weeks and I'm not completely grounded but much better. I got a lot done yesterday and out of the way but when the guilt and fear came up I stop it.

Each time I log on here I expect to be cut off..I feel every step is a major risk putting myself out here like this, it's just that if I don't what's next?? There's no going back. Down that rabbit hole ? I can't stop the free-fall now..
 
Finally feeling better from this cold/flu but feeling a little overwhelmed though since I let so many things pile up while I was sick. Also, scared because I might be losing my job within a couple weeks considering my boss's suppliers banned him from buying from them due to not paying them. There are no other suppliers for him to go through and the store is empty.
 
I am praying for a miracle!! Icon Nikon has to have another surgery, and the last took away much of her writing skills. I know this is a long-shot, but I want to go out there, and be with her for a week or two. She has NO one, except a toxic family which she will not tell them where she is.

So, I figure, why not ask for a miracle, and a big one at that?? I will appreciate any and all prayers that I will be able to raise the money. Not asking for $$ here!

Thanks for your positive thoughts, and prayers for Icon Nikon!
 

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