Seems my feelings are running the gamut of emotions today. I seem to be doing a bit of crying off and on as well. Let's see, feelings thus far: well hugged by Forum friends; warm and content in watching Animal Plant, listening to Christmas music and drinking chai tea; happy to be sitting with the sliding glass door open, sun shining with a coolish breeze blowing, and a bit of relative quiet for this place sans the interstate racket; sad in that I'm missing my mother who died 3 years ago in January, that my dad is far away and that our relationship is so upsettingly dysfunctional, that my sister and I have no relationship and won't ever have one unless God works a miracle, that my aunt is failing and will most likely die this next year and that I have no meaningful relationship with my cousin who I grew up with like a sister, and that I don't really have anyone else in the world in real-time ( how the heck did I get to this place?!); worried about what is to come in 30 days and the path to getting there; and hopeful in that the Holy Spirit is still breathing inside of me and telling me to be encouraged.
I'm sure there are more feelings; I'm a bit of a color wheel today. Heck, I even shared a good laugh with myself and Mallory this morning. A bit of the child in me, I guess. Best that I focus on holding on because if I don't like the current mood, it seems certain that it will change over the course of the day. Kind of like the weather where I live. ha ha
