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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

I feel very lost.
Need the caring like.

Feeling on the edge of a nervous breakdown. Frazzled, panicky, despairing.

Keep using tools to get me a bit calmer. Slightest thing sets me off again. But I mean really the slightest thing.

Need to keep away from Mr more than usual today.

Writing in my journal, doing drop anchor, grounding, putting on my fav scent, listening to calming music, distracting, thinking if little things I'd like to do today, doing some of them.

Being so unwell that I can barely do anything certainly makes things hard.
 
I feel ashamed that I haven't achieved anything worthwhile in my life that could make my parents happy and make them love me.
I know they aren't capable of loving me regardless of what I do or what I achieve because they are not capable of loving not only me, but they can't even love their own selves.
I know I shouldn't expect love from my parents because I am an adult now, but the undeveloped part of me is still craving for the love it never received in my childhood.
I hope I will be able to overcome the craving of being loved, of being held, of being looked with love and appreciation; without judgment or expecting anything in return besides mutual love and appreciation.
 
I am feeling angry and crazy at my father because he destroyed me financially. He destroyed my motivation and courage to do anything that could help me earn an income. I feel devastated, and due to financial constraints, I am unable to distance myself from my abusive family which could help me heal faster and better. Not to forget the shame that I can't earn any money.
 
I feel shitty... melancholic.

Breakthroughs also means that you have to sacrifice some things you used to cling to: value judgements, a fake sense of security...
Sometimes we do not really want to change at all... we want to cling to that which makes us feel comfortable... in a sense "healing" means death of an old part of the self.
 
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