I'm feeling sad that I was too unwell at college when I was younger too make friends. I was an alcoholic and was very scared of human interaction. Wasted years and it left me very isolated. It's a great shame. I lost so much.
I feel ashamed that I haven't achieved anything worthwhile in my life that could make my parents happy and make them love me.
I know they aren't capable of loving me regardless of what I do or what I achieve because they are not capable of loving not only me, but they can't even love their own selves.
I know I shouldn't expect love from my parents because I am an adult now, but the undeveloped part of me is still craving for the love it never received in my childhood.
I hope I will be able to overcome the craving of being loved, of being held, of being looked with love and appreciation; without judgment or expecting anything in return besides mutual love and appreciation.
I am feeling angry and crazy at my father because he destroyed me financially. He destroyed my motivation and courage to do anything that could help me earn an income. I feel devastated, and due to financial constraints, I am unable to distance myself from my abusive family which could help me heal faster and better. Not to forget the shame that I can't earn any money.
Breakthroughs also means that you have to sacrifice some things you used to cling to: value judgements, a fake sense of security...
Sometimes we do not really want to change at all... we want to cling to that which makes us feel comfortable... in a sense "healing" means death of an old part of the self.
I feel really sad and scared. My heart is really fragile and I nearly had another heart attack last night. Now the docters told me i have to have an ultrasound on my liver. I'm only 44 and I'm basically scared of dying. I've also been told that my brother is eventually going to sell his house and move further away. Life feels very shitty at the moment.