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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

Right now, I miss my fiance.
My ex-fiance.
I ran away from him because I was scared I'd be an awful wife, that I wasn't good enough for him. That was a bad time and it was hard, but sometimes thinking of the good times is harder. Like when he would look at me like I was the most precious thing in the whole world and no matter how bad or numb I felt, he could always make me laugh and feel alive.
I wish I could tell him how much I miss him and how lonely I feel without him and how he was the only person I ever felt I had a connection to, the only person I've ever truly loved.
 
Feeling blue and strange.

This morning all the kids lined up outside to catch the bus, came back to their apartments. Rumor is that the bus crashed. I tried to call the school on three diff lines, left msg for attendance.

Mind I tell you that it is freezing arse weather out there??
 
You know that feeling where you want to laugh and don't know why, cause you are feeling so crazy?

Than you start to wonder, am I? No, I am just stressed, but that is how I'm feeling. Life can seem so unbelievable!!
 
Right now, I miss my fiance.
My ex-fiance.
I ran away from him because I was scared I'd be an awful wife, that I wasn't good enough for him. That was a bad time and it was hard, but sometimes thinking of the good times is harder. Like when he would look at me like I was the most precious thing in the whole world and no matter how bad or numb I felt, he could always make me laugh and feel alive.
I wish I could tell him how much I miss him and how lonely I feel without him and how he was the only person I ever felt I had a connection to, the only person I've ever truly loved.

I know how you feel, before my husband became my husband, I left him for 9 months because I thought how he treated me was fake, because nobody had ever treated me so wonderful or told me how wonderful I was, so I took it that he was trying to hard, so he must have been hiding something, so I broke things off with him.

I went back to one of my abusers (my son's biological dad), because that's what felt normal to me. Of course the abuse started all over again, and I with help of my psychiatrist, felt worthy enough to leave, 7 months later, and wanted better for my son. So I left my abuser and lived with my parents (my mom is my other abuser) until I could afford my own place.

My husband came back into my life as a friend (I reached out to him) and a relationship grew out of it. Some how I have been able to allow this healthy relationship for 3 years now, and my son calls him dad since his biological dad is not involved anymore. He is very patient with me and very understanding, and that helps out a lot.

I hope you don't mind me sharing, it reminded me of my situation.

(((HUGS)))
Mom With PTSD
 
I was going to post last night, however, the baby woke up and I ended up falling asleep before being able to post anything.

Last night I was feeling overwhelmed, anxious, stressed, angry, sad, suffocated/closed in

This morning I woke up to both of my babies snuggling me and now I feel blessed as I'm sitting here watching them both sleep so peacefully and innocently. I still am feeling a little bit overwhelmed and stressed, but not as much as yesterday and last night.
 

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