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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

(((FM))) (((PH))) (((Amethist))) (((Loloma))) (((Sazza))) (((Jo May))) (((ITL even though you haven't posted) ((((to all who need it today))))

I am better today though still some anxiety.

I went back and read some of the basic stuff about PTSD. Found something new in the cup analogy that I hadn't caught before and it really helped.

Paraphrased - When we have a stress trigger that causes us to be come symptomatic we can remove the stress and the symptoms abate to a certain point. However, it takes awhile, sometimes days (or more?) for the anxiety to settle back down. I actually had suspected that was what is happening to me right now, but it was good to read the confirmation. Silly, but somehow knowing that's what it is makes me feel like I can ride this out.
 
Whilst thinking about my childhood today, it occurred to me that my feelings of my abuse differed quite sharply. To me the sexual abuse took a back seat to the physical and emotional abuse from my mother. Does that make me weird??
 
It is difficult when dealing with more then one problem Loloma. Some days our minds will be on some things then other days on other things. Some days I feel like my brain is working overtime when I also am trying to deal with more then one problem. So some days the mind can sure work in strange ways.
 
Yes your right, the mind does work in strange ways. I read in a thread that Anthony wrote that PTSD doesn't really go away. Sometimes I think it stays dormant and rears it's ugly head when your faced with another trauma. If you get multiple traumas at the same time, to put it mildly you go nuuuuuuuuuuuts. It is sad and confusing cos you really don't want to be there, just want to get on with your life. I'm so sick of feeling sad and isolated. I once told my T that I'm not looking for "happiness" that I'd settle for content.
 
I'm having a bad time with flashbacks now since I had a call from my sister. She said the house we grew up at is for sale right now. And told me to site to look at the rooms etc. She asked me if I was going to go to the open house. I said no I might look at it online. Which of course I have no plans of doing that. Since in my eyes that dwelling was nothing but a torture chamber building. Needless to say I never want to see inside that building ever again.
 
Whilst thinking about my childhood today, it occurred to me that my feelings of my abuse differed quite sharply. To me the sexual abuse took a back seat to the physical and emotional abuse from my mother. Does that make me weird??

Absolutely not Loloma. When I compare being raped at 7, several sexual molestations, physical abuse from my dad and emotional abuse from my mom......the emotional abuse is 10 times worse than the other 3 put together.
 

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