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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

I feel empty, lost and lonely. :poop::poop::poop:

I was in so much pain earlier that my hubby phoned the on - call doctor's, anyway they said they had to talk to me which I find disturbing. I talked and answered his questions but he was repeating himself and getting angry with me. I started getting upset so my hubby took the phone and told him a few truths and finished with "I hope your happy with yourself? you have reduced my wife to tears". I had a full on panic attack and he had to get my bag and calm me down, I refused to see him I'd rather wait in pain than see someone who was so bloody rude to me :unsure::sick::poop:

I'm so glad I have my hubby and children to give me the push I need to keep me going, saying I love them all doesn't even come close to how much I feel about them:inlove::)
 
I'm tired. Only a few more days bedrest, and I'll be driving everywhere! It'll take awhile to get my strength built back up from so much pain, then surgery. But, I should be better than ever as long as I push myself to work on getting stronger.

I've done good this year, not saying how I feel about Christmas. I read it makes it worst if you say it aloud. LOL, it has lead to less anxiety for sure. Now it's almost over! Singing in the cantata tomorrow is enough for me. At least they are providing a chair for me, as I'm not up to standing for 45 minutes.

Y'all have a peaceful evening and Sunday!
 
Quite drunk....heehee!
Our oldest son is over for a couple of days (he likes to do this once a month or so) He always brings his dad specialty micro brews.
His dad happened to bring home a bottle of wine from his secret santa from the company Christmas party. It's a local Pinot Noir (happens to be my favorite) so I got mine tonight! Haha....guess I shouldn't be posting. Oh well....enough of you know me here to probably find this funny as it's quite not normal...ooooh poor grammar oh well heehee!
 
Yes, (((PR))). I could use lot of hugs rite now. Thank you.

Sorry! It is sad not to reed or rite ok. Or talk.

I no mind is not rite. Hope mods not mad - fix (?).

Sound stupid. Much shame.

Alex

Please, don't apologize, Alex. :( I have read a number of your previous posts and I know how articulate you are... I can't imagine how it must feel for you to struggle to read, write or speak fluently. You have nothing to be ashamed of! Not at all. Please keep posting however you can, there are a lot of people--me included--who want to see you here. I really hope that this is not irreversible for you, but if it does end up being that way, you need all the more support. You are a very brave and courageous person--I know you don't feel that way, but anyone reading your posts can see it. You are going through something so difficult that I doubt most people could even imagine it. Sending you big hugs, and prayers for a full recovery :inlove:

...Actually, I guess I have a bit of an idea, since I have experienced those things myself, but it's not the same because I was a kid. I think as an adult (especially in your situation) that is a lot scarier... But I do remember that those struggles were incredibly frustrating.

I hope you are doing as well as possible under the circumstances... thinking of you.

Phoenix_Rising
 
((((((Alex))))))))((((((((Phoenix))))))))))(((((((((PH))))))))))((((((((((Molly))))))))))((((((((((JoMay)))))))))))

((((((((((All others)))))))))))))

It's early yet but I slept decently which is amazing as I had several bouts of "veils" (beginnings of flashbacks) I tried to hold them back with grounding techniques with decent success, the sensory overloads came out of nowhere as did a few bouts of panic but it was better than earlier in the week. I ended on a high note, my Hunny asked if I would like to go to the movies today. :)

Hopefully he got rested up yesterday enough to go...I would love to try to claw my way OUT of this house!! :ninja:

Yeah!! Film at 11. :tup:
 
Rain... Thank you :)

I also relate to the feeling of having to claw your way out of the house... I am struggling terribly these days with getting myself out of the house. Today I finally did it as I was not doing very well earlier (post-T fallout from yesterday) and finally I decided that rather than feeling overwhelmed and dissociated I needed to get out of my head and out of the house, give myself some distraction. I could not even post here because I could not think properly earlier today. I just needed a break and it's too easy to just get lost in it all... It helped a bit I think, even if I did have to brave the Christmas craziness at the mall. I hope you get to see your movie :).

Phoenix_Rising
 
I feel exhausted. But grateful for all the tender support. Your acceptance and understanding means more than I can express at this time. As you have seen (with much regret), my brain's ability to function comes and goes with each tx. I do not know what is up ahead, but your caring thoughts and prayers are keeping me going. I cherish them.

It is hard for me to know when my head clear enough to write. And even then it is not easy to do - to struggle to find each word in my injured brain. So please let me know when I am making no sense. Or when I am writing as if I never made it past 2nd grade.

Forever in your debt,
Alex
 
A little anxious as I have to go to a funeral tomorrow (my H's uncle) and I know people will ask questions. I truly hope I can get through the polite P's & Q's without being triggered or dissociating. After the funeral there is a Wake so that will be more difficult. Then I have to rush into town to finish off the shopping I have been too poorly to face. :eek:
 

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