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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

It is 5.45pm and I feel physically and mentally exhausted. My Christmas grocery has just been delivered and is scattered around waiting to be unpacked and stored. I've put stuff in the freezer and I will pace myself doing the rest.

Even by my standards it is to early to have a glass of wine, so that will be my reward after I have the groceries stores and supper in the oven.

Breathe and ground KP - baby steps.
 
I feel better for talking on the phone to my H tonight. I explained to him how I was feeling, he is such a rock for me, I am blessed to have him.

I haven't done what I hoped to do today and I am beginning to realise that actually it doesn't matter. Christmas will happen, my family will have a great time even if my crystal animals are not washed.

My grocery order was delivered and even with not doing all of my usual baking, I have enough food to feed a small army.

I will try to be kind to myself, my family are the important ones not 'stuff'
 
Today I am... exhausted and in pain from a week of Christmas shopping, including today. Stressed about the cost. But relieved that I am finally done. Kind of stressed about having to wrap it all in such a short period of time though. Just in spite of it all, so very glad it's done. I enjoy shopping... but not shopping to the point of near dropping dead (lol).
 
I'm feeling disconnected. I'm sat in the office watching out of the window. The office is next to the butcher and opposite the greengrocer. There is so much activity, everyone scurrying around and cars trying to find the closest parking spaces. It is raining just enough to soak everyone outside. I feel so apart from everything.

I'm feeling drained, tired, I feel I want to hold my hands up and give in. I keep telling myself to hold on until tomorrow. Tomorrow reinforcements arrive, H will be back.

I'm terrified for my family, three of the four people I love more than anything are driving home tomorrow, all in the same car. I am so scared something awful will happen, those thoughts invade my dreams and are with me during the day.
 
((((((((((((Hugs to those that need them))))))))))))

I'm concerned about my fked up foot again, the pins have been slipping for this past year or so and now I've tweaked my ankle. :( If I can't walk I can't let go and revive myself, it worries me. I have a post-surgical boot but it's heavy and cumbersome. Once again, I have to just hang in there until AFTER the first of the year. I'm hoping to hobble down to the store (I haven't been out of the house in quite some time :ninja:) and find some kind of makeshift brace for now. We have a busy day tomorrow, no turkey, a Rx they completely overcharged us for, my HRT has not been called in, and we have a dinner to go to Monday night. Following that I have a court date with the bully neighbors to ring in the New Year.

All these things cause me serious serious P-A-N-I-C as this is the first year I am deeply rooted into understanding why I am letting go of long time relationships I have depended on most of my life. I have been doing my best to stay in the moment and be kind to myself, going to plan B if I find that pushing through would only cause undo stress at this time. A moment at time.
 
I feel fed up as the sandman clearly came second in the race with the bloody insomnia fairy again. I really want to sleep but trying not to as I won't sleep tonight.

I also feel sore and getting really pissed off with it now.
 

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