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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

I am struggling with nightmares on the heels of very disturbing thoughts after this a Migraine episode :cry:

If it weren't for such a strong support system I don't know what I would do. Although I'm heading back into another pain cycle I managed to get up early and get a good walk in my "Girls" and coming here makes all the difference even if I can only read a few posts.
 
(((Rain))) I hope you have relief from your headaches today.

I am still angry today. I hate the residual anger. There is a lot of frustration as everyone around me tells me to take things off my plate, but no one steps up to the plate to take responsibility for them. That kind of leaves me in a catch 22.

Also ticked off at myself for apologizing for things I should not apologize for. I need to quit taking blame and responsibility for other people's poor actions.

Pretty much ticked off at myself for losing my temper and my composure. I should just walk out when I hit that point and find something constructive to do with the anxiety, fear, anger, frustration and all of those emotions that just seem to come out in some type of tangled cannon ball.

I know better and I should act better. The language that comes out of my mouth would shock even the most foul-mouthed of people.
 
I am feeling completely annihilated after a phone call yesterday. He insulted me with so much hate and violence, unbecoming language, accusing me of terrible things.

I just froze and listened... trying, even wanting to understand. I should not have done this. At the end I cried. He broke me again... and he started to laugh saying: Like this you are lovable, like this I want you, small und humble, not dominating the conversation (me staying calm).

Impossible to get out of my head these accusations. Fear, because he is very influet and not very discrete. He already destroyed some of my friendships and spreads his oppinion about me in circles we belonged. I feel so lonly and helpless. I can't sleep, I can't eat. Just crawling in my bed, cry and hide out, hoping to awake from this nightmare.
 

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