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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

I feel relieved.

I was reading where Anthony talked about the suggestion that people generally only be here for about 2 years and that they only needed to be in therapy for 6-12 months.

I spoke to my psychriatrist and she said that it is true that most trauma therapy can be done in 6-12 months for a traumatic event. But that it was different if you had trauma at each developmental stage (or developmental trauma). So I feel better about that. My case is different as I grew up in a constant PTSD state/traumatised state - always living in fear of my life without a family connection or support. So I never had time to develop coping strategies or a personality or a way of living life.

I felt quite upset about how long it is taking me to heal in therapy today but I know feel reconciled to my particular situation. I didn't have one event that triggered the PTSD - I had the complex trauma right from the beginning. I started therapy when I ran away from home as my father was threatening to kill us all, when I was 15. So it is what it is. My psychriatrist said she had one man come in for counselling after a hold up and he was okay after four sessions in two weeks. But I have been with her for several years now due to my circumstances. I can't imagine getting better after four sessions but she said that you match the treatment to how the person is travelling. She said it will take as long as it takes to heal.
So I will keep working hard. I will keep focussed, but I will stop judging myself as less than everyone. I am how I am. I will get better and improve all the time. It is just going to take time.

I am keeping in mind how much I have improved this year with my disassociation. I have really improved a lot. I have along way to go but I am doing really well. I am with people without constantly talking and entertaining. I never really thought I could get my anxiety around people down to that level. That is pretty amazing for me.
 
(((Loloma))), it was certainly an emotionally charged visit for you. Miracles do happen, and I have lit a candle lit hoping for a miracle for your sister.

(((HUGS))) to all who need a hug.

I'm okay today. H went away again and will be back on Thursday night, so once again it is me and the dogs. I have some things to do, Christmas cards to write, gifts to buy which will give me great pleasure.

I'm feeling proud that I am doing nothing today except things I want to do. Today, there is no pressure to do anything for anyone else but me. I will walk the dogs and potter around. I think we all deserve a day like that.
 
I feel a mixture of stuff. I am seeing my T Michael in an hour. This may be our last session as I am managing my PTSD quite well.... some times.... most of the time.... well usually. I will miss him. Sort of feels like the last day of grade school when you are promoted to the next class and you will never have this wonderful teacher again. I know I can schedule another appointment any time if life crushes me again and it is good to know the door will not be completely closed.
 

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