I have a really dumb question. I am working on a new affirmation. I'll share it with you. But I am concerned I don't agree with it.
I salute my own courage, commitment, and persistence and my efforts to reclaim my strength. Taken from the book: Invisible Heroes: Survivors of Trauma and How They Heal, by Belleruth Naparstek. Recommended to me by Hashi.
My goodness. It is saying that I face danger or pain without showing fear. I'm not sure that is true. I get anxious. I have fear. In fact, I'm a coward. I hate danger and I hate pain. Yes, I've waked into the face of danger to save a child. But I never did to save me. It just happened. And as far as pain goes, I hate it. I despise it. I detest it. It makes me cry and make sounds even. All I have to do is lift my arm up a little bit and I make those sounds that cause people to try and help me. Then, when they try to help, they grab my arms to help me stand up and it hurts worse. Sometimes, just touching my skin hurts.
At church one time a lady came over and leaned down while I was trying to stand up and said, "Are you going to cry?" I didn't even realize that any sound was coming out of my mouth. I felt so awful that I've finally learned how to make sounds sometimes. If I had done this growing up, I'd have ended up knocked out or in more pain even.
Anyway, I raised my head up, and swallowed. Even though I wanted to hit her, I didn't. Instead I responded, "I"m trying not to." I mean, what was she doing, mocking me? Ridicule me? Help me to not hurt? Force me to stay in my wheelchair? What? I'm sorry, but I don't know what to feel when people say things like that to me?
What am I suppose to say to them?
I salute my own courage, commitment, and persistence and my efforts to reclaim my strength. Taken from the book: Invisible Heroes: Survivors of Trauma and How They Heal, by Belleruth Naparstek. Recommended to me by Hashi.
My goodness. It is saying that I face danger or pain without showing fear. I'm not sure that is true. I get anxious. I have fear. In fact, I'm a coward. I hate danger and I hate pain. Yes, I've waked into the face of danger to save a child. But I never did to save me. It just happened. And as far as pain goes, I hate it. I despise it. I detest it. It makes me cry and make sounds even. All I have to do is lift my arm up a little bit and I make those sounds that cause people to try and help me. Then, when they try to help, they grab my arms to help me stand up and it hurts worse. Sometimes, just touching my skin hurts.
At church one time a lady came over and leaned down while I was trying to stand up and said, "Are you going to cry?" I didn't even realize that any sound was coming out of my mouth. I felt so awful that I've finally learned how to make sounds sometimes. If I had done this growing up, I'd have ended up knocked out or in more pain even.
Anyway, I raised my head up, and swallowed. Even though I wanted to hit her, I didn't. Instead I responded, "I"m trying not to." I mean, what was she doing, mocking me? Ridicule me? Help me to not hurt? Force me to stay in my wheelchair? What? I'm sorry, but I don't know what to feel when people say things like that to me?
What am I suppose to say to them?
