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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

Hyperarousal gone haywire. Struggling to contain my emotions - trying to use the techniques from therapy. So hard to sit with it, especially when my husband calls me "weak" because he thinks emotions are a sign of weakness. Worried out of my skull about my son, and trying to contain it to help him. Worry that I'm a bad parent.

Somehow, writing it down here helps, maybe it makes me acknowledge the emotion instead of avoiding it.
 
I feel better for reading the posts here. Bad times followed by good.

I feel so stressed and anxious. I go for more tests at the hospital on Thursday. I should know on the day if it is breast cancer or not. Hubby will be away so I will do this on my own. I haven't told the girls anything as it is pointless them getting upset when there maybe nothing.

This sounds stupid but I worry that if it is cancer, what impact it will have on our family holiday to Florida in 2 weeks. If it is cancer, how soon will it be for treatment to start and can I have my holiday first. Even if it isn't, I will need a holiday to either prepare myself or come down from the stress.

I've looked at a couple of sites, at questions to ask. No doubt I will forget them. I will if needed record any relevant info and write it down.

I feel tired, I'm not sleeping well. My mind won't switch off. The hospital I am going to is the one I went to after my accident so it isn't where I want to go, to many memories. Basically, I'm not in a good place.
 
Please let the girls know and get one of them to go with you to the hospital.
If they lived close by I may have done. As it is, I don't want to let them know until there is something to know.

I thought about a friend but, I have a grounding kit including my iPod which has an exercise recorded by my ex therapist. If it is the worst then I will ask if I can return on Friday. Hubby will be home Thursday night so he will come with me.
 
@KP the nut I am so sorry you are going through this. I know when I did it felt so surreal. Mine turned out well. I am hoping that for you. In the meantime you have my hand.

@macca I do not think you are a bad parent. My son had difficulties going to school also. We ended up doing something like home schooling for two of his years. I wouldn't recommend that necessarily. He seemed to be doing well for his junior and senior years, though he has missed a lot of school. So much so that we are put on notice. Hard to argue with an 18 year old about the importance of attendance. He did start taking medicine about his junior year and I think that helped more then therapy visits. Only because he barely talked in them. Hang in there. You are doing the best you can.
 
I am feeling a lot better this afternoon. I haven't done much today but what I have done I am proud of.

Crystals and essential oils helped me manage PTSD symptoms, so I have been to my local crystal shop and I was drawn to a purple flourite hand carved angel. It is tiny, maybe 1cm tall. I held it in my hand as I wandered around and I became aware of heat radiating in my hand. It felt good, calming. I also wanted to buy a bottle of lemon oil as mine has run out (yep, major emergency). Unfortunately, she didn't have any so I am trying lime oil.

Later I will light scented candles and ground myself.

I'm feeling that whatever happens will happen. I'm 53 and have dealt with a lot in my life, this will just be something else.
 
Crystals and essential oils helped me manage PTSD symptoms, so I have been to my local crystal shop and I was drawn to a purple flourite hand carved angel. It is tiny, maybe 1cm tall. I held it in my hand as I wandered around and I became aware of heat radiating in my hand. It felt good, calming..
Ooh, I love that feeling- it's like the stone picked you, isn't it? Fluorite is one of my favorites, great healing energy and such lovely colors.

I'm a bit wobbly. The emotions going on are ones that I haven't learned to recognize yet. I've got 't-time' this afternoon, I hope she can help me figure it out.
 

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