What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[cragger65]

I'm feeling discouraged with CBT. Just when I think I'm getting it, my T will point out another aspect where I'm totally askew. I wish I was "better" at it. I have to keep trying, but I find it often makes me feel worse, not better. Maybe that's just me.

 

[cragger65]

Hey Morgan, you've been doing really well for a while now. I know this is just a temporary setback for you.

 

[Tinyflame]

Dear Morgan,

You are never ever a "burden".
In fact, you are helping your sponsor to stay sober, and for that I am sure they are eternally grateful.

-Please don't lose heart. "This too shall pass". -Truly.

Love Meg

 

[morgan]

Thanx guys! It was just my "magic magnifying mind" playing tricks on me again. We talked later and I told her how i felt and she assured me that I am not a burden to her.

Today I am feeling blessed and grateful for another day sober and light on the symptoms so far.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I feel really good for the first time in a long time! And after being misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder for the longest time, I wonder at what point I stopped thinking in terms of happy/sad and switched to thinking in terms of manic/depressed.

 

[cragger65]

Right on Morgan. That's a great way of putting it, "The magic magnifying mind". That is so me too.

I'm feeling much better today. Attended a committee meeting this aft, some good ideas, good energy there. I'm going to volunteer some of my time to the project (producing a Yearbook for our local brain injury chapter).

Today, with the help of cracking away at CBT and a good talk with a fellow brain injury survivor, I'm thinking more constructively and positively. Feels great :)

Dave

 

[fin]

I am feeling very low at the moment, after having been so strong. I know the last week has taken everything I've had to keep going. And I know now I just have to keep trying to keep going.

But I also feel that I am not worth being understood so why would people bother. I feel ridiculous in wasting my energy and emotions on someone that has no wish to even try to even understand. So I know I am feeling weak and beaten down right now. Also I feel patronised and therefore I am struggling to come against it.

I am grateful for friendship but feel that my trust and friendship is not worth anything. I feel cold and very alone. And feel I will never know who to trust or when.

I know I have been spot on recently about so much, and so I am surprised at the after-crash. But I know that today I have to try to believe that I will also recognise "IT" again, and so I have to try to feel good and strong by my own understanding, and have a little faith in myself.

Tired today and somewhat broken by pain.

 

[fin]

Today I feel a little acceptance. I am able to accept that what I feel is ok to feel. I am able to understand and can validate this better and more within myself. I hope this lasts.

Because I have to try to look after myself a little better, and a little more kindness towards me this morning will not go amiss. So I feel able to at least try to show myself some kindness.

It feels strange to write and even to try to do good things for me, and it does feel like I should be guilty for trying to do and feeling this, because it does and has felt so very self indulgent to put myself first. And very surreal at the same also.

But today; I am trying to come against that guilt, because that guilt is not something I should feel towards myself for trying to or even being able to take care of myself.

(I would like to be able to do this)
(maybe one day second nature?)
(because right now, I am so struggling with this and it is soo up and down)
(it is like a battle-and I could do without another battle at the moment)
(maybe if I just keep trying to fight it?)

I do not believe that this guilt is something anyone of us should feel when we are trying to look after ourselves, so I am trying and a little more able, to see it as a negative emotion that in this instance I have to let go of. Otherwise I will never be able to look after myself properly at all.

This feels like such hard work, and it feels and is exhausting trying to keep doing it. Because if there is no alternate way to look at everything besides through guilt, we are all screwed. And I have lived with that alternative and been screwed for far too long.

Guilt for no proper reason; is poisonous. And so, I have to start trying to let it go. When I have nothing to be guilty of; I need to accept this truth and know it and myself better. And know what are real and genuine emotions rather than learned and automatic responses that have been taught to me through the abuse I have suffered.

I am learning and this feels good, again strange-but good. And EXhausting....it is *big time*- wearing me out.

 

[fin]

Disappointment

acceptance

affection

peace (some)

interest

stronger

trusting

trusted

accepted

smiling....yes I am feeling "smiling"

recognition (is this a feeling? I feel I am able to recognise and be recognised) so maybe this comes in with understanding also...and a few other things there.

hopeful

caring

braver

affectionate

aware

confident

connected (maybe that goes with recongised)

easy going (?)

I feel a little irked -but I am cool in feeling it, so I guess...

cool (also)

relaxed

valued

precious

sympathetic, or rather empathetic is perhaps the outward "thing" of this

I feel pretty chuffed that I have felt all these things today as I never imagined I ever would have been able to understand so many of my feelings let alone be able to recognise them ever again....and so...

I feel hopeful, and surprised, and a little fearful also but in a cool way, I am not stressing about that and at the moment it is very reduced, it is not all encompassing it is very very much reduced...and for that I am happy and hopeful for tomorrow and all them that are to follow. And just writing that there; "all of them to follow" feels pretty good and looking forward.

This is good, this is so good, that despite my day not panning out very well or rather not as I had hoped; I have felt all of this and maybe more...but I can stop now. And today while it did not go to plan was pretty cool regardless. And cool is cool no matter what happens.

~fin

If you are doing this watch how each one, each feeling, or emotion can branch out to others, like a tree perhaps...that just keeps growing...wow!!! and I'll say!!!

so I guess I am feeling "wowed" also LOL

 

[fin]

Acceptance- I am hoping this will come one day better than "oh well its ok it was just me" acceptance...if you know what I mean


wow!!! was this ever a long list- sorry. I have cut and will paste it to my diary now.

So I guess I can add awe to the list of emotions...shit...so many!!!
~fin

 

[Sinead]

I am feeling extremely anxious today.

 

[fin]

I feel a kind of sadness, and also a kind of magic hah!!!

I feel hopeful and blessedly almost blissful about things working out better.
I know I am at peace about some my stuff
I feel beautiful maybe today (inside)
I have hopes (I hope)
I have my dog and she loves me...she just went running outside because there was a noise-she is PTSD also perhaps hah!!

I have my back against the wall but I feel better aboout it all
I feel confident in some things but soo not in others
I miss someone very close to me here, but we have our own stuff and I know it makes sense

I feel a little lost and alone, but I hope with friends I will make it through
I wish my friends could know this and be here for me
I am true and I know more than I did e little while ago

I want what we all want to be happy
and I would also like to be less alone
BUt I understand that maybe we dont all want the same things in life- so I am accepting of some things

I just know in my heart that I am a better person than I have been told, so

I guess I am finally begining this journey - fear and acceptance, but a little trust also, so trusting I guess too.