What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[cragger65]

Hey Fin, maybe the weather delays are just the universes way of protecting you till you really are ready to face that. Soon.

I am in the exact same place, trying to get myself cooking again. I also used to LOOOOOVE to cook and let it get away from me in the fog. I did a stirfry last week, and am going to make a think, hearty beef stew soon... would you like some =)

Who is the person you are missing from the board? I know one girl is in the middle of a move right now.

Oh yeah, forgot to say how I'm doing. I'm feeling hopeful and determined, hand in hand today. Accepting, forgiving, hopeful.

 

[Mina]

I am a couple things today:

- Relieved. DH and I had been waiting over two months to hear if we would be moving to another state. Now we know we aren't. It's nice to have an answer; I feel as if stability and motivation has in part been restored.

- Slightly anxious. My piglet is sick (separate thread).

 

[Tinyflame]

Oeverwhelmed, discarded, resourceless, sick.

 

[Luthien]

I'm feeling very ill today. I forgot my meds for my stomach at my mom's last weekend, and have been without them all week, now I am back to not being able to eat...nothing. Even water isn't staying down. Emotionally, I am numb, and have been for the last week, hence the lack of posting about me. I still try to reply to others when I can..but me and my life seems to be off bounds.

Dave,
can I have some stew?? Haven't had any for ages, as hubby wouldn't touch the stuff.

Mina,
good to hear you've had the moving issue resolved.

Junebug,
Can I give you a virtual hug? You'll be in my thoughts, and if you need someone to talk to, you can PM me anytime.

 

[fin]

tired, lonely, freakishly weird, vulnerable, lost

 

[goingonhope]

Begin Vent:

I feel Overwhelmed! Overwhelmed! Overwhelmed! .........And, not to be communicated as minimal, or fair, or understandable Overwhelm while considering that I have Ptsd. This would be a very narrow and partial view and understanding of these overwhelming circumstances, but rather I am Overwhelmed and continue to feel, ever more deeply,this reality of Overwhelming Lives in Crisis. (-all 4 of us, 7 aspects) I'd like to just scream and scream and scream and ball like a baby if I could now, and it was a good idea, .....but it's Not! :think:....:doh:....:think:....:doh:....and on and on:eek:

-end of vent.

 

[cragger65]

Best of luck, Hope. I hope it helps even a little to get that out. Sounds like you could use a much longer rant today.

I am feeling better today, settling in to newness of some things. Feeling a little more in touch with my "better side" today. Thankful for that.

 

[Mercy]

I don't think I have ever tried to figure out what I am feeling in the present moment. I guess it's left over from not thinking I was worth the space I took up in a room or the air that I breathed.

While my parents were getting a divorce, my aunt was getting married and I was flower girl. I ran away and hid in the woods. Of course, that made everyone furious. How could I be so selfish.....Many, many years later I asked my Mom why no one thought about how I felt. Her answer was, "Children? Children don't have feelings."

tired, triggered, existentially exausted, helpless and hopeless to fight with PTSD anymore.

If only our abusers could grasp the fullness of the suffering they have caused all of us........to live wuth forever.

 

[fin]

I don't think I have ever tried to figure out what I am feeling in the present moment. I guess it's left over from not thinking I was worth the space I took up in a room or the air that I breathed.

.

Oh Mercy, I soo know what you mean by this, I am so sorry that you feel this way, I want you to know you are not alone in having these thoughts and feelings. Am sending you hugs and good energy. :Hug_emoticon:

Today I am exhausted, emotionally and physically. Today a lot of hard work and my head hurts, but I am feeling more positive about all of this. I do believe that some time it will be better than it is now. So maybe that is some kind of hope, yeah that is what it is...I am feeling a little hope today. And I will acknowledge that it feels good. I am also going to acknowledge that I feel vulnerable with it. I definately feel challenged and a little afraid also. But that little bit of hope there is holding me tonight.

so I guess this is good, and I am not going to put it down, or overthink it tonight. I am not going to stress about this for the next ten minutes. and that has to be cool. So I know tonight I am in some kind of good head space...just to be able to have a little more would be cool, so I am feeling greedy LOL also....I wanna stay like this, it isn't perfect but it sure is better today/tonight than it has been in a very long time. (I feel a little whiney also)....because I really wanna stay like this...so hell if it sounds whiney...why shouldn't I want to stay feeling just a little bit better than I have done for the last....who knows how many years....no I want to stay this way and that is cool.

 

[fin]

hah!! I have just read my last post and I am thinking I would like to feel like that again ...was it almost 2 weeks ago sinceI felt more positive now, or longer? I don't know.

How I am feeling right now? I am feeling tired emotionally and physically, a little stalled, ermmm unsure, lonely, frustrated with myself and my abilities or lack thereof. But also maybe a little bit stronger than yesterday, I think that maybe I am learning to trust myself a little better than I have done in a long time, and that doesn't feel half bad- I have to say, so maybe a little stronger also. YaY!!

And so maybe I am hopeful, because having to honestly look at how I am feeling today, has been able to give me some hope, and I can't deny that.

Last week I felt like total crap, and I couldn't even acknowledge how bad I was feeling at all. I know if I had tried last week to answer that question then I may well have given up altogether. So this is progress and progress is a good thing...so maybe I am feeling a little good also?

This feeling thing is really difficult sometimes; because to have to really try to identify and stop and think on how we really really feel, is a useful exercise, not an easy one but a good thing to try to do. Because despite thinking we may feel too far gone, we may actually find we are able to see that we can keep going; and that maybe we can and will start to feel better at some point, and that can't be bad, can it?

...whoop whoop!!


~fin

 

[fin]

In addition to the above...
I am also feeling and thinking, that it is very scarey to put myself out there out here. And that I should feel prouder, but I don't; I feel sick and anxious, and often overwhelmed and that gets me down.
I am hoping for the day when I will not feel so bad about who I am, what I am, and how I say and do the things I do. I am hoping and looking forward to a day when I will feel better about myself generally and also better about who I hope to be and not be blasted by my past as much as I am.

I am looking forward to a day when I can believe in myself and my ability, and a day when this pTSD gets me down less than it does. I am also trying to feel some faith in those around me, I am trying to trust more and that is good. Painful but good.

Quite a day really. I never cease to be amazed at how raw I can feel doing this. I know I shouldn't be- but I am. So fragile also, I am feeling a lot of stuff these days and I am getting better at recognising and labelling my feelings. And owning them also.

 

[morgan]

Dismissed. Like I am a burden to my sponsor. Overwhelmed. Anxious. Sad.