What Do You Do To Relate To An Artical And Yet Not Hijack It?

[Barberian]

There have been many threads that I have posted in. I often end up posting about my experience with the topic of the thread. I don't do it to hijack the thread or make it about me, but I write out my experience to help relate to the OP. Sometimes I feel doing this puts me in danger of hijacking the thread and making it look like I'm trying to make it all about me. That is not what I am trying to do.

What do you do, or what is your approach in dealing with this situation of not hijacking someone else's thread, yet still try to establish a connection with the OP.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I've read your answers to threads many times, and I really like what you say. I have even clicked on threads I would not read because I see you have commented on it, all because I get curious to know what you said.

I think you are doing great. A lot better then when I first started on this forum! I think its normal, that in a healthy conversation you make a connection with the person's thread/post and tell them a part of your experience. Seems normal to me, and most people here are looking for that, because they are afraid of sounding odd or crazy.

 

[angel2write]

The only thing I don't like is when somebody gets on and tells me I'm wrong about something I'm feeling. Or posts something that makes me think they want me to change how I think or feel.

Mostly people don't do this. Mostly people say "I think this..." or "I feel this way in that situation..." or "Have you considered .....?" Hearing other people's stories provides perspective and a connected feeling. Like I'm not the only one in the world who's ever felt that or been there. And hearing someone else's story doesn't make me feel trampled on, like I would if they argued with me.

I guess if people disagree, they mostly just don't comment. And the topic dies!

I try really hard to be supportive and not make people feel stupid or judged. But I still mess up sometimes. I'm learning that it's ok to make mistakes on here, though. I've said some dumb stuff, but people still talk to me. Go figure!

 

[Whitneys story]

As I am new it is good to know it is ok to make mistakes I have been blamed all my life for not being good enough and others mistakes. Programed to accept it and don't dare question. Hugs

 

[maddog]

I really don't see much of what I would call thread hijacking around here. Almost always, when people relate a personal story or experience of their own, they do it to make a point in relation to the OP, to provide a confirming or contrasting perspective, to illustrate a point they are trying to make or to simply send a message to the OP to try to make them feel a little less alone.

I know that for me, sometimes I feel at a loss to offer much in the way of advice or constructive input, so a little "I can relate, so your feelings make sense to me, because x happened to me..." kind of story can make me feel as though I've contributed at least a little genuine empathy.

People post because they're seeking input from others, and if they didn't want any, they wouldn't post, or would hopefully say "I'm venting only and am not looking for responses..."

I have never found your posts to be anything other than supportive and well-considered. I do understand your feeling awkward and unsure as to whether or not you're fitting in ok and being accepted in terms of your contribution - hell, I feel this way all the time, both in real life and sometimes here too... and I could even give you an example, which wouldn't be intended to hijack the thread, just to do the "I relate to how you feel..." thing again.

I do hope you keep posting.

Maddog

 

[simplekindofgirl]

I agree with the posts above Barberian.

I often start to post something and sit and look at it and think, this is not about me, and backspace or just delete the whole thing. In reality, adding our own personal experience gives insight to the fact that we understand or relate, and explains our decisions and thought processes. It offers perspective.

 

[anni]

I think a lot of members worry about this so you're not alone. I 'met' one of my nicest, nicest friends here because she once sent me a PM out of the blue seriously worrying about the exact same thing! I'd never have fallen into the habit of regularly talking to her, probably, had she also not been thinking gosh, do I talk too much about ME in other people's threads?

Yes, it's probably because we only have our own expereinces, hence 'stories' with which to relate in reply. It's possible we worry a ton about this partly because this stupid PTSD thing isn't exactly condusive to having been able to maintain a healthy or solid ego, which makes it feel like anything we have to say must be an intrusion across the board. In my case I'll hit 'post' and then spend time worrying it was stupid anyway, WHAT was i thinking??

See? I just did it, and will worry about it also. This was way too long to say I'm sure you're doing just fine and from the above posts, more than fine-much appreciated toboot!

 

[Zipperhead]

Add a final paragraph tying your comments back to the original post. Draw lines as to why it is pertinent to the original post. As the last paragraph will be the prominent in the mind of the reader, they will get your message, but still focus on the theme of the thread.