What Do You Do When...?

[Red Feather]

What do you do when?

You have flashbacks of ** abuse as a child of a memory you didn't know about? Flashbacks that trigger you so much into feeling terrified and completely emotional passive. I feel so small and I can barely move or get up. I do not know what to do with myself. I just dissociate but that is also painful. I feel like my head can explode.

Is this how I felt as a child? If it is I do not know myself. Having intrusive flashbacks is really new to me. Everything is changing and so much is coming out. I don't feel up to this...

 

[Anna]

I like your avatar Nadia. Did you draw that picture yourself?

If I have an intrusive memory (as I like to call them as they like wham into your head like a brick through a window). I tend to get agitated and run around a lot. It also causes physical pain.

Try to relax and remember none of it was your fault. You are the victim. You should maybe discuss this with your therapist as they may have a good technique how to deal with this memories occuring.

I personally, run around, cry and cry. Then I sit down with a bottle of wine or something and watch a really good comedy or a sad film which makes me feel better. At the moment I am trying to complete the film "The color purple". I guess it is like just trying to get it out of your head. Accepting what happened, feeling the emotion, then trying to deal with it best you can.

 

[Jen93]

Flashbacks that trigger you so much into feeling terrified and completely emotional passive. I feel so small and I can barely move or get up. I do not know what to do with myself. I just dissociate but that is also painful. I feel like my head can explode.

Is this how I felt as a child? If it is I do not know myself. Having intrusive flashbacks is really new to me. Everything is changing and so much is coming out. I don't feel up to this...

I get this all the time.:unsure: It happens with my tutor and my ex-therapist. I get really really quiet which is unusual for me- you know me, I'm the most hyper person there is when I'm feeling normal. ;) I get extremely passive and submissive, and offer one word answers and agree with everything. I think I read somewhere that it was part of the fight or flight mechanism. If you don't feel you can fight, and you can't run "flight" it's part of the "freeze" mechanism. You submit and obey with what people tell you to do. It's part of the defence mechanisms, much like dissociation.

For me, I think that this IS probably how you felt as a child- but for me, it's almost as if "Maybe if I'm obedient, they'll go away." It IS partly a flashback. Basically, you need to remember that you are okay now- that nobody is hurting you, and that you are safe. Ground yourself, and remind yourself that you are safe.
Jen

 

[Red Feather]

This was while ago. I just saw your message now Anna, and Jen thank you. Thank you both for replying. Yes the avatar is a stillshot from animated film I made. I think it describes a state of being I sort of relate to now. So that's why I took it as my avatar. The big blue spots are rain drops, huge rain drops.

Whatever happened that day, I don't know. I had just arrived from seeing my kids. And I'm always unstable at those times. I quickly realized I did not want to know where the flashbacks came from. I haven't had them again since then. Maybe I was just making it up.

Sometimes I get these flashes of something, and my body jolts. But I think those are from memories much later in my marriage.

(((((HUGS)))))

 

[shygirl18]

I sometimes have a 'flashback' about something which I can't remember.. I don't know whether to call it a flashback because I can't remember it so not sure if it's true. But it's really scary