What Do You Need?

[Snowflake]

What do you need to feel/be safe? In general or from your therapist?

 

[Rumors]

Ugh...loaded question. I try not to depend on him to make me feel safe. I try and derive that from my own soul. It is incredibly hard and sometimes I can't pull it off so I don't go to my appointment. However, I guess in a perfect world I would appreciate some verbal communication that he won't kick me to the curb bc of my story or bc I am having a rough time. I am pretty compliant and usually at least try everything that he suggests. Sometimes the noise in my head is too loud to listen well but I usually at least work towards what he says.
Anyway, I think just knowing that he will stick it out is the biggest thing..... Too many people throw the towel in and it leaves me feeling a little vulnerable.

 

[Laurie McLaughlin]

Hi there -

In general, what I need to feel safe is continuing to work to place my mind in the present moment - If a sense of fear arises in my mind, I try to recognize it as fear and for me fear is always the worry that something might happen in the future - if fear arises, I work on realizing that nothing is here right now to make me afraid, so I try to let go of the fear and return my mind to the present. And try to also be present in my body and recognize that right now,I am safe - and then try to extend that now for as long as I can.

So, to answer your question - what I need to feel safe is constantly working with my mind to keep me in the present moment and to keep me feeling that I am an okey person.

Blessings - Laurie

 

[Crow]

Eye contact. Distance - sometimes closer, sometimes farther. Allowing me to pace the session and respecting my no when I don't want to continue. Her challenging my bs attempts at deflection. And the break through when I started trusting her after years with her was when she got mad at the medical care I was getting. When I call, her listening more than talking. And when she insisted I am not broken.

 

[Whyteferret]

It depends do me. In therapy: respect, support, listening, not judging. Not pushing the tempo or content. At least for now.

I'm general, a quiet place to go to. My home is my safe place. Quiet, I'm in control, my cat and ferret are here. Nature as well- few or no people around.

Safe from myself as well.

 

[Friday]

In therapy... Bossiness. Direct, clear, speech. Arguments, or at the very least a willingness to go toe to toe with me. A great sense of humor. A knowledge base greater than mine. Honesty. Discretion.

In general... To hold or be held.

 

[Sideways]

In general? To be completely invisible from the world.

In therapy, I need him to not move from his chair. For any reason. You need something that's out of reach? I'll get it. Beyond that, feeling safe in therapy on any given day is a game of roulette. Could be the complete opposite of what I needed the last time. So I need him to be able to read me better than I can read myself. Which he does.

And sometimes I need to be wearing a lot of layers of clothes. Everything is safer with lots and lots of layers on.

 

[Snowflake]

Okay I would like to tweek this alittle. When your therapist is on vacation for a specific amount of time--how or what will you need to stay safe while she is gone?

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Some sort of support circle. People, who know me well enough. Grounding

 

[Crow]

I have a backup therapist. I also have saved voice-mail where T says she cares about me and is there for me. We have no contact when she's on holiday. Sometimes for three weeks. I see a lot of movies during those times.

 

[Ronin]

In therapy - no nonsense, judging without bigoted, not oppressive / not abusive / getting microagressions, sense of humor. Speaking from experience, not books. If I wanted book smarts I'd have sat down with literature for a week or two and gotten it myself.

In general - freedom to move & be, humor, respect for individuality. Also clue-by-fours for times I'm drinking courage koolaid, but not matching it with the cool of common sense, or caring for it.