Passive, even apathetic.
Tears, mine- never his. He never cries. When the numbness finally breaks, its rage that rushes out.
Single. I sit alone most nights, while he over-works to ignore the fear, the pain. Sometimes we go for walks, we talk, we hold hands- but we never mention it, never.
Desperate. Sometimes I just want to shake him and make him be that man he used to be. But that won't touch his brain or take away the scars.
My husband has PTSD, but he's still in denial, still pushing it all down. I don't know what it's like, but I know from this side, how lonely, how hard, how painful it is to love someone with PTSD.