What Does Well Look Like?

[InHell11]

I don't really know I wasn't exactly 'well' before the PTSD maybe I'd have less symptoms if I didn't have it though but I think I'd still be struggling with my mental health.

 

[DharmaGirl]

For me well also means having good habits. I've been thinking about how much of what we do is habit, and I want to start some good ones.

Making the bed when I get up. Then I would be less likely to get back in. (maybe)
Walking the dogs - this is hard because my back is so bad but even to the end of the block would be ok.
Eating better - I've become a vegetarian.
Daily meditation - it was a habit, now its not.

I think that's enough to start. I guess they are goals, but when I say goals I think they are something to work toward, when I say change a habit, it seem easier.

 

[Bimble]

Me before PTSD and certain people screwed it up.

 

[amethist]

For my husband it would be the freedom to choose what he wanted to do each day, not having to be ruled by PTSD.

 

[DharmaGirl]

It doesn't have to be about what you were before PTSD, there was really no before for me, so I have to look around and see what's out there that I would want to have in my life. What are you hoping for when you get well? What will life be for you? Will you live your passion? Will you identify your passion? What do you want from life? When you look forward to recovery, how do you see yourself? Is there someone you admire that you would like to be like?

I want to continue to be kind, but more so, compassionate, calm, loving and mindful. I want to help people. I want to make a postive impact on society no matter how small.

 

[DharmaGirl]

not having to be ruled by PTSD.

So true! I want to be different, but I still am ruled by PTSD. Not so much as before. My life would be much more open, and I would get out of the house a lot more often, and have more friends.

 

[rightkindofme]

It doesn't have to be about what you were before PTSD, there was really no before for me, so I have to look around and see what's out there that I would want to have in my life.

I want to continue to be kind, but more so, compassionate, calm, loving and mindful. I want to help people. I want to make a postive impact on society no matter how small.

Yeah. I have no "before PTSD". My father started raping me when I was a toddler. My entire childhood was a nightmare.

I want to be kind and cheerful until I need to be abrupt and cold. That transition should be comfortable and easy. I am allowed to have boundaries.

I want to be able to feel good about what I have done with my life. I make goals for every year (not the same thing as resolutions) and I bloody well meet them. I AM making forward progress. My yard is way more green and pretty by the year. When I am in my 50's we will have a lot of food growing here. :)

I want to feel like I have adequately prepared for the things that are likely to happen to me. I know that surprises happen but I see a lot of people who don't prepare for basic things and then they blame "chance" and that bothers me. I want to feel like I am not creating my own problems any more.

I want to write lots of books about dealing with trauma. I want to work with the children that everyone else gives up for lost.

I want to believe that even though I "should have been aborted" I have managed to actively undo the evil that my family has brought into the world. There was a purpose for me. I'm the reason my dad stopped raping children. I prosecuted. That was HUGE. I want to do more. I want to end more pain.

I don't think I want to end my pain, exactly--though I do. I'm seeing doctors about my issues. I'm trying to fix me. I want to be able to help other people feel less pain. It's what I'm good at. If I have a "gift" this lifetime it is helping people hurt less. I want to do more of that.

 

[DharmaGirl]

My entire childhood was a nightmare.

Mine too! It was really, really awful! I think it is wonderful that you were able to save other children by prosecuting your father! It is huge! I really admire all you have accomplished! You are incredibly strong. It is amazing how you were so abused and took it and made good out of it. Yours was a very inspiring post, thank you.

 

[Tinyflame]

I think "helping people hurt less" means a lot. I like that. :)

For me, I'm not sure, now I would say to have joy again, and bring that to others. And share theirs. Regardless of my symptoms, circumstances and ptsd, if indeed I shall likely always have it.

Hugs to all, you're all very brave. :hug:

 

[Sailorgal]

In reality, being well doesn't mean we aren't going to have issues or be chipper all the time. I know life without PTSD and it is scary how much this 4 letter word changes you. To look at yourself everyday abd remind yourself who you really are.

At the same time, having read other stories, we all have the same dreams and goals of being happy, cheerful, and not afraid. For me, the difference is that before I could give myself a kick and deal with things and feel good about myself. Everyone has down days....but without PTSD you can muster up courage easier and know you have accomplished something. The sense of confidence.

 

[TLight]

To look forward to things, instead of just feeling numb about everything.
To by in the car with my husband on a drive and not feel like I'm losing my mind with terror constantly.
To go through a day without dread lurking beneath everything.
To talk to people and actually be there.
To look at a sunset and actually see it and feel the incredableness without the all the dark overriding it.
To be able to think about someone in my past or present who impacted me, guided me, and valued me. No one values me, so I have to. I just don't even know what it feels like. Like a foreign concept to me.
To not be so alone in life.
To not wake up and feel like there are 5 people in me all shouting and screaming for some unknown reason.
To fall gently asleep without major medication.
To conquer real fears, not fears my mind is making up are around the corner and absolutely everywhere.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I just want to feel normal without fear or anxiety or feeling numb. I want to feel alive again. This has been a great thread and I have enjoyed what everyone wrote.