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I am learning to have fun...to play within art and relax within reading choices. I am accomplishing being happy despite some challenging circumstances.
I was able to work ahead since I have the next two days off and still doing all the other tasks that come my way during the day about three hours before my work was over. I realize it is an accomplishment and should be proud of myself but I don't really feel it. My subconcious is telling me that there is no reason to be proud of myself because it's my job, why should I be proud of myself for doing my job.
I sent a check to receive my Medical Records from the place where I used to work so many years ago and now I wait for them to arrive. I didn't even know if this place still had these records but I guess they still do.
What I did was to open a wound by requesting the records for the guy I was married to and now is deceased.
For some reason, now, after all this time I want to read what was said about him. I believe this needs to happen for me to let go of so much shame I'm still carrying around about him.