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What Helps You?

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trying2movefwd

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When your extremely depressed and battling S/I what helps you get through it? What keeps you from giving in? How do you get your mind off it? Are you able to distract yourself, if so how? My children , just knowing they need me, their Mom, helps me. I can't always get my mind off my thoughts, but I call someone to either talk about it or just for the sake of calling someone. How do you cope in healthy ways when you get so depressed?
 
Mostly I have rules.

I used to also have safety nets, things that would catch me & pop me back before things got too bad, but it's been awhile / I'm working on getting those things back into my life, rather than able to just relax & depend on them, knowing they're there.
 
Sometimes? Defiance.
Sometimes? Procrastination.
Sometimes, the little, little maybe.
Maybe tomorrow won't be so painful.
Maybe it's not a lost cause.
Maybe. Maybe not. But I'm sure as h*ll not going to quit before I find out.

Distractions: music, volunteer work, reading if I can and videos if I can't...
 
I don't recommend this..but this is what has worked for me for a long time
I accept this is what i am feeling and thinking. And let it run it's course.
I know I'm not going to do it. That's why I say I do not recommend this for others.
Because what I am wanting is relief..not death.
I don't fight it or try to change it. That never worked for me. Just prolonged the cycle for me.
Seems it has taken the power away from that being an escape route.
I learned, again, for myself, that it was a habit "go to"thinking when what I really needed to do was find out the REAL reason I was playing this boring game with myself.
Sometimes I was just stuck. Not moving forward in healing. Sometimes it was feelings I simply did not know how to address or express. It opened doors for me to have different conversations with my T.
Again, speaking only for myself. By allowing it to play out..many times it showed me I wanted someone to miss me. Someone to be sorry I was gone.
I do not recommend this for anyone. Am sharing how it became less powerful to keep me stuck or in pain.
Those thoughts still rise occasionally. I already know how the story ends so it has simply become a thought. Not a ritual of escape.
But I will say again.
I knew I wasn't going to do it.
This is very serious and I do not recommend this to anyone.
 
My daughters are also my motivation and their activities help keep me out of my head. I recently discovered that window shopping, going to a movie by myself, binge watching on Netflix are some good distractions.
 
I've has suicide ideation for most of my life. For me it's become a daily thing. I'm a bit like @ladee that I just go with the flow of it, but I also have attempted suicide, many times. When I start making plans, then I've crossed the line from just thinking, to action.

For me, SI is just a normal thing. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish I were dead, think about ways to end it, and fantasize about ways to do it. But, I'm not depressed in the sense that I would act upon it.

So, for you.... It's therapy, goal setting, journaling, and finding something that you can grab onto that will spark that interest. Something that will shake up the depression and allow you to have some sort of normalcy, even if only for a few hours a day.

Depression sucks. It just drains the life out of you, physically, mentally and emotionally. Hang in there.....
 
How do you get your mind off it? Are you able to distract yourself, if so how?

Hey trying2moveforward ,

the distraction helps, but I have recognized that it only helps (For me)for a very short time. Its like a t.v swoosh that kinds of remains in the background even though the distraction takes place.

I realized this when my bio father died a few days ago, I felt no pain, had no memories, just numbness and a more mechanical functional type of a behaviour. My T asked me to somehow express that pain, even if I might not be aware of it on the surface. I did a small ritual, which actually was painful, I am still processing, being in contact with those emotions lessens the depression.
 
I text my T or message a dear friend who has struggled with depression in the past.
Medication and staying away from triggers.
Keep calling people when you find yourself there.
It sounds like you have some good outlets already.
 
For many years, it was my dog. I had an Old English Sheepdog that I got from the local pound when I was in college. She was a matted mess that had been thrown over the fence at the pound and abandoned. I brought her home, she glued herself to my knee and stayed there for 16 years. By the time she passed, my daughter was 5 or 6 and she was my motivation and distraction.

My kid is 24 now, 25 in the summer and planning to move out on her own in the fall. I'm thinking about getting another OES, even though I have a scottie now, who I love too.
 
When I am at work I have to distract myself if I get an epsiode. I stop and slow my breathing down by controlling it. I then oick out 5 things I can touch, see, smell, and think about it in depth. It can be anything simple like an apple, tree or even a tv. That tends to help me.

If I'm at home I sometimes give into it because I am just already exhausted to do damage control.
 
I remember that I've been in this thought pattern before and that I moved past it. That I will have up days, down days, and days in between. I also have some journal entries that I go back to as well to see that I did make it past the urges and/or that I was dealing rather well with life on that particular day. I agree with @ladee in that for me, it's about ending the pain and not about ending my life.

Not sure where you're at with this, so am sending a little candle of light your way as sometimes it's the smallest point of light in my life that can pull me through a tough time. I hope it might serve as helpful or as a reminder for you as well. Look for the light, wherever you can find it. Best to you. VB
 
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