What Improvements Have You Made?

[Deleted member 12723]

I am learning to be more flexible. If I do not feel like doing something that can be put off for another day, I do it now. I am learning how to relax in my dealings with other people.

 

[intothelight]

I accepted a hard truth today. It made me sad, but I didn't blow it out of proportion. I am learning, and there are "degrees" of everything. Very few things are all or nothing.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Once more I am reaching out for help and support. I am going to go back into therapy for a tune up and deal with the caregiving issues. I hope I will be able to cry about it. I have not cried. I am so tough on the inside. I just keep on going forward no matter how hard it is sometimes.

 

[Dissociated1]

(fingers crossed) A big decrease in the nightmares and emotional episodes where I dissociate into my female alter since I started psychotherapy 3 months ago. This has made a world of difference in the quality of my life!

 

[Red Feather]

I think I am getting better. Slowly I feel an improvement. Maybe I am getting more trust in myself and motivation to live.

 

[Venusian]

I have been thinking about this for a few days now. At times I feel so hopeless and then I think of where I was last year. Last year everything was still a secret. Since then I have been in therapy, I have told my story, I went to the police and made a report, I told my parents, I can talk to my doctors about it and not freeze up. Some people at work know what has happened and they understand when I have a bad day. There are days when I wonder if the bad days are ever going to get better but the hard part is behind me now. I understand now what I am healing from and after over 40 years of not knowing why I did the things I did, that is huge.

 

[Inspired 2 B Free]

I made a decision today to continue speaking truth even though siblings are having a fit about and say my abuse never happened. It is lonely, but I have reached the point of no return and cannot stop speaking truth now.

 

[Loner]

OH good thread good thread. This is going to be hard for me. Its very hard for me to give myself credit for anything and I actually have made some great strides the past year so its good I list them.

Lets see.

I've gone from being too overwhlemed/scared to even open my mail to paying off and taking care of all the minor debts I had piled up. It wasnt a lot of money just $50 here $20 there for various stuff but I've been putting some of them off for a while just cus I didnt' want to deal with it.

Went from living in a filthy shithole to a pretty clean place, not spotless, still have some ways to go organizing and getting rid of some stuff, but yea, major progress.Same with my car, its actually really clean now.

Knee surgery 6 months ago, I've done a good job at the rehab and am now pretty strong, will be stronger still before ski season, should be back in the best shape of my life by next summer.

Ok now comes the harder to say things.

I've gone from having so much anxiety I couldnt relax even just sitting in the same room as someone watching tv, not having any friends at all, barely even knowing how to have a casual conversation with someone, to being able to ask out random women who are complete strangers and go on dates with them for no other reason than because it scares me and is fun.

I've gone from being so desperate for approval comfort and acceptance that I didn't feel like human interaction was worth it because I'd never find any "real" friends, to being able to enjoy human interaction simply for what it is without needing it to have the potential to develop into anything else.

I've gone from believing that no one could possibly ever love me to being more worried that the truly awesome amazing inspiring people who I want in my life won't think I'm good enough for them.

I've gone from being paralyzed with self doubt to the extent I couldn't even play the guitar for an entire song without making lots of mistakes simply because I had too much anxiety about my playing not being good enough to simply focus on play, to actually enjoying the challenge of learning new songs, even if i can only handle that challenge for a few minutes at a time, and really just enjoying playing for its own sake.

I've gone from smoking pot multiple times a day to not smoking anything, drinking more than a beer at a time or ingesting any caffeine in over a month.

Theres more. Its been a big year. Its hard to feel proud of myself. I still have no friends and no girlfriend but I'm sure those will come in time, at least I hope so.

 

[p-no]

It's amazing to read the responses in this thread... This is all part of the healing process, and I just love every bit of it!

This really rings home with me:

I've gone from believing that no one could possibly ever love me to being more worried that the truly awesome amazing inspiring people who I want in my life won't think I'm good enough for them.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

(((((Loner)))))))))) You are good enough and more so. It will happen when it is time to. Hang in there everything will be ok one way of another.

I am feeling better. It took hard work trying to get in tough with the doctor and getting him to attend to my needs. He did not call me back and luckily I found something I could take that helped out. It took me a whole weekend to feel better. I had to call my daughter for some help in driving me to the docs office. I was having such a bad anxiety attack. I just layed under a blanket and did not move. I stayed up all night last night. I had a good day.

My husband is in bed. It is too early to go to bed. I amlearning. I am growing into a stonger person. But my typing is for crap.

 

[Froggie]

((((Gizmo)))) sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time with your anxiety, those are hard moments to go through especially when one has a family to tend to. You're in my prayers.​

 

[p-no]

:hug:, Gizmo.