I read a thread here once that indicated (I believe) that it was actually was preferential to speak of the trauma after a period of time- initial therapy (of some sort-I can't recall what? :rolleyes:, 'talk therapy', I believe) was best delayed. I can see how that would be so, in so far as dealing with the stress, grief, etc- allowing one's self to process everything and 'feel' it.
However, I think (again, just personally 'looking back' and comparing the difference between several traumatic events- which did not contribute I believe to my ptsd), I think there-in lays the problem: the 'period of time' they indicate, is 'natural' and 'required' and 'healthy' and 'normal' (to grieve, etc). But the problem comes when during that time, (or similarly living 'within' and 'through' years or decades etc of abuse etc, for example) there is no 'talking', no feedback, no other ideas that challenge the thoughts, decisions, conclusions drawn, etc, hidden within the incident, as you said. And especially having to 'hide' it or (and) try to 'tune it out'. Even if one has 'blocked it out' (or so they think, or shut down emotionally- so forget 'feeling'). So there is also bound to be more resulting guilt, shame, survivor's guilt, self-blame etc. And then I believe if PTSD sets in, for lack of a better word, well then worse follows, as one tries to make sense of a whole new set of symptoms and problems they can't understand or explain and cope with that, as well, often in ways of avoidance, physically or through behaviours, substance abuse, etc, none of which works to actually address or 'treat' the ptsd.
I just say this because when something awful has occurred, if I can actually bring it up- or even more fortunately I can recall 3 events at least when I 'heard' something afterwards that helped immensely, relieved a lot of my guilt, and prevented or precluded me from internalizing more self-blame, the guilt etc didn't arise- but I know if I hadn't heard it I would have felt much worse- when I actually had time later to go over the details in my mind. I am positive of that.
This may sound funny, but I think regardless of qualifications, humility goes a long way as does trust and honesty, to me that's massive.
Also, genuinely trying to help (not indifferent/ seeing people as a number).