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What Is On Your Mind Right This Second?

That this level of interpersonal intensity is not healthy for the ptsd and maybe I need to try to have some acceptance of that without feeling like a defective looser. Now how to do that. And am blocking out the other but maybe thats OK for this moment. How to ,make decisions that are long term good and realistic. Not sure. Especially with multiple question marks over my life.
 
Wishing that people actually cared about one another, and not only themself.
Wishing that whatever Force in the Universe that always sends people my way that want me to despair would give it a rest.
Wishing that someone for once would step up and stop someone else from SA. And call it wrong. Or say- you shouldn't have to go through that. And actually mean it.
 
I have come to the conclusion I hate Christmas, which may have started as Peace and Good Will, and is now the season of Family, allies, not-aloneness, motherhood, and the Haves and the Have nots, and a big pile of BS and a whole bunch of all the rest. Great. Get me through December, all right. To another planet. I give up. Stick me in a war zone where I have nothing to lose. Christmas is not for the Expendables or Collateral Damage.
 
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