What Is On Your Mind Right This Second?

[ladee]

@Junebug, I agree with everything you and @berlinda said. It didn't make sense to me, even as a kid. Maybe for some it's this great celebration and family time. I count the minutes until the new year. I would be perfectly ok with having only 11 months in a year!!!

 

[Tinyflame]

Thank you @ladee and @berlinda ❤ Would be glad to give someone without life or dying my own. If wishes were horses..

 

[ladee]

@Junebug, if you only knew how many times in the past few weeks, that me saying, 'if wishes were horses'!!! We are totally on the same wave length. Love ya lady... :hug:'s

 

[Tinyflame]

:hug::hug: @ladee .

I heard hopeful words today, too bad I can't see or feel any relevance to myself. Or a directive too late to follow, for me, perhaps. Do I grieve that? . Idk, maybe. It made me cry. But what are tears any good for, anyway. And what's the point of grieving- pointing out the obvious?

 

[Tinyflame]

If there were founded reasons to hope, I wouldn't be where I am today. Surviving- was not worth it.

 

[Teasel]

A headache

 

[Lionheart]

unconditional love, peace, forgiveness, and happiness.

 

[Rani G2]

Unfortunately Philip K dick is dead. Androids Do dream of electric sheeps!

 

[Rani G2]

I am trying to get what alien abductees are saying.! Well.. what?

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

Way too much is on my mind, so I'm going to type it out and see if that helps relieve the pressure....

December....the month of many more than usual tug-of-war episodes within my psyche...and it feels like I'm on the losing end of the game this year as things keep getting heavier as the days go by...

• today would have been my aunt's 74th born day, had she not taken her own life many years ago by jumping into a river...goes to show you truly just never know
• later this month is my dad's born day. he would have been 81 had he not left us back in '95 from a brain tumor the size of a softball, which was initially misdiagnosed 4 months prior to his death as being manic depression...he was in the same hospital on a different floor at the same time as his mom who had a brain aneurysm while having a medical check-up and was being kept alive via life support...she passed not long after he did....and his dad died in his arms of a massive heart attack not too long after my grandma's aneurysm....whew
• mom was hospitalized earlier this month and later sent to the nursing home/rehab, again, and chances of her making back out this time appear to be quite slim...and of course, my brain was thinking, oh shit, let this not be a repeat of my dad and grandma's scenario as I rode to the ER in the rescue squad headed to the same hospital she was in with my heart issues
• the whole helliday hoopla scene that sickens me to my core in so many ways
• the cold dark damp days...because cold hurts my body and the darkness drains my life force
• the ride in the ambulance and several day hospital stay in which I feared for my life for hours on end, once again, didn't do much to brighten my outlook
• it's been a long time since I've felt this low...not sure I'm up for being repeatedly reminded just how low I can go
• just when I think I've got somewhat of a grip on my shit...my shit promptly hits the fan
• for as bad as things get, I hope I can remember the flip side of how well they can be...because I hate feeling like not me

 

[Teasel]

I'm sorry you're going through so much @Tornadic Thoughts
Thinking of you, hope things look up for you as soon as possible X

 

[intothelight]

Pondering how slowing down can facilitate big changes...........