Oh
@Lumos . :laugh: Even ghosts need instant energy. :)
@Ellabella44 , I sincerely wouldn't see it as not a great accomplishment- of course it is!! I get where you're coming from; however, seems to me your missing all the drinks you've skipped for 5+ years-
years- and the great grace/ opportunity to be able to, and have managed, re-starting your sobriety again. That was a blip, a learning curve. Not to mention, you were honest about it- the biggest hardest part of all. Did you not say, too, you were diagnosed with bipolar, also, and had to deal with all that? Seems to me you're going pretty hard on yourself.. :(
I only know, I believe a lot of this is physiological/ neurobiochemical. I can say with smoking, I should have saved myself all the self-beating-up I did failing 'quitting'. I have no doubt it's the nicotine my body (more accurately, brain) is trying to use, as new pharmaceuticals are actually being based to accomplish the same using the nicotinamide molecule as a basis (ie one's physician-prescribed 'prescription', vs 'addiction'). Best if possible to continue on, but dump the self-reproach if possible. Now you have even more tools/ knowledge, of what isn't possible to manage by just trying harder. :hug:
Off the subject but related, I was thinking of this with gambling addictions; seems more to do (physiologically) with a malfunctioning reward centre in the brain, as well.
What they don't know fills volumes, as my mom used to say.
Hang in there and celebrate one month with pride, gratitude & fresh eyes. I personally think that's terrific! :) Full stop. :) :tup: :hug: