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What Is On Your Mind Right This Second?

Wish they'd let me sleep, need to be up in 3 hours. Too drunk and bad news for them to notice it's already morning. They keep repeating the same conversations. Thought their conversation after years apart would be -what's the word?- healing (?)/ reconciling/ supportive, and maybe it is, for them. But so in the midst I too hear I've been labeled the villain. Or the scapegoat.

It's a strange feeling to have tried to give so much, trust so much, and be accused and blamed and smeared , for the very things done to me. To hear others wish me gone. It's hard to live around or within, contempt, disgust, disrespect, blame. Not only no value, but a liability. I suppose that's hatred. Well, am sure they'll have their plans. Not sure what to do anymore, really. Small wonder there's little recourse than to retreat within myself.
 
Not sure how well I'll "people" again after not having to interact for so long now. Not that I was much of a social flutter-by to begin with, especially indoors, due to the scent-sitivities and such.

I'm super damn grateful there's no have to, but I still feel the want to really bad some days, and miss my random stranger conversations/interactions more than anything.
 
Heh kay I been out so many times during / any time I could breathe and walk as in dragging myself to it worked... So maybe incomparable...

But I think you all will be just fine ;)

Even more given everybody else is struggling with the reintegration now, it might go slower and gain you time to take care of your own stress response.
 
People that used to be in my life. People that I considered friends

Hey @survivor, I just woke up today to an inbox quote thing -there were 2 instead of 1- that said, quoting & paraphrasing"

~ 'We each have a need to belong that doesn’t start with the playground or end with the work shift. Maslow's hierarchy of needs categorized the need to belong as the 3rd essential: after physical needs (food, clothing, and shelter) and safety. List the people who are essential to your happiness and the groups that include you'.

I think that's pretty much spot on and clear for discernment.

:hug:
 

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