What Is On Your Mind Right This Second?

[whiteraven]

Life is chaotic and directionless.

 

[Rose White]

Grateful for the pressure of my 6-pound cat pressing on my lap after two hours of staying present with my teen while he projected vitriol onto me because I took away his phone since he refused to go to group therapy.

Kind of wish she weighed ten times that amount. Good news is that he agreed to go to therapy, just not group therapy (more phone calls to try to find a therapist are now in my future) and I told him he had to clean the kitchen to get his phone back tonight, to show that he cares about repairing the rupture of verbally attacking me.

My Goddess I am exhausted.

 

[Deanna]

How I wish my second week of healing was already my third because, like it or not, its going to take three weeks to heal. My eyesight isn't that great. Thats why its hard for me to post. Also... I had a good friend die of Covid-19. Really is weird since he was in better shape than I was, was older but thus guy was a doctor and very healthy. Very sad.I mean, I'm healthy but he was older and very healthy

I started watching a good movie and didn't remember the title ( only a category) A friend calls, then I lose the whole show. I miss hanging out here but it is what it is

 

[Tinyflame]

I learned abandonment, or fear of abandonment/ abandonment proper?, is one of only a few biological needs humans have so it actually applies to adults as well as children. Who knew? :confused::( I don't know the others, safety, maybe survival?, I suppose, or food, Idk.

 

[Sideways]

Stuck on concept from therapy today: I've been keeping count of how many steps are in staircases that I use regularly all my life. Can still recall how many steps were in most of the dozens of places I've lived. Because if I don't keep count as I'm going up and down, I'm usually so dissociated that I end up forgetting that I'm on stairs, and will trip.

And apparently...that's not normal:meh:

 

[Ronin]

Different reasons, but I count steps too, @Sideways :D

So not like you're an inhuman anomaly (TM).
You're a star that has her steps covered - and saves Doggo job too. :tup:

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

For most of my life, maybe as a result of the hell(s) I experienced, or maybe in spite of them, I've been one to give folks benefit of the doubt, so to speak, until given a clear reason to do otherwise, but still listened intently to that inner gut pang that would seem to detect something or another as being "off".

Lately, I've made the willful mistake of reading the comment sections of our local news outlets that have been highlighting some significant issues, both local and national.

Part of me is saddened, part of me is angered, part of me is down right disgusted, and part of me is even more grateful for the gut. My gut feelings remain 99.9% on target and I'm glad folks are publicly exposing themselves for who they truly are underneath all those masks they've been parading behind up until now.

May their hearts soon see beyond the incredible short-sighted heartless belief systems/familial programming/religious indoctrination/engineered educational props/traditional disdain/etc. and allow them to experience love on levels deeper than they have yet to fully discover, hopefully beginning with self, and may THAT shit spread as quickly as the hate and hostility seems to have spread.

 

[whiteraven]

I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up.

 

[Tinyflame]

@whiteraven :hug::hug::hug::hug:

I am wondering- if apart from recalling state-dependent memories that just as quickly vanish and called be recalled, or details seen in FB's that can't be recalled on cue and I sometimes remember or not, or really horrific ones that probably I was too stressed out to record properly - if a lot of memories of people, can't be recalled (good ones, regular ones ) because ultimately the reminder of the loss is just too painful?

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

Trying to figure out how to best help my nephew who has, once again, fallen on hard(er) times. So many decks remain stacked against him, many as a result of poor choices from many years gone by that he can never undo.

While other shitty happenings just seem to be drawn to him like a freakin' magnet and he's not been able to dig his way out of the proverbial ditches no matter how hard he tries or how many opportunities cross his path. It seems some other choices were made out of sheer desperation, not really thinking of potential long term consequences. Not so easy to think of that shit when you're in the trenches.

I continue to hope that he's able to keep some hope alive in spite of the shitty circumstances. May the few offerings I can extend help to make at least some of his moments seem less shitty. As usual, I feel like I never do enough and question if sometimes my helping hurts more than it helps, but I can't imagine having gas cards to get to and from work, helping with a car repair, and sharing grocery cards to buy nourishment could be harmful. I'll never stop helping him meet his basic needs as long as I'm able.

I remember being in similar shoes many times over in my life, however, I didn't have two little ones relying on me or two baby's mamas (or daddies) trying to intercede in my every waking moment garnishing my wages and such. I can't imagine how much deeper the pain and uncertainty feels with those permanent ties that bind.

The systems in place to supposedly help in these instances are making it much harder for him to even think about getting out of the endless debt hole enough to break even (to pay rent/utilities/groceries/cell phone bill/child support/gas/medical care/etc.), much less ever get ahead.

May he find and maintain some incredibly flourishing momentum that healthily supports him and his offspring sooner rather than later. It's the biggest case of damned if you do and damned if you don't that I've seen in a while.

 

[Ronin]

Pax aeternam

& Dope. :shifty: :ninja: :mask:

 

[Rani G2]

Henry David Thoreau doesn’t work for me.