What Is The Goal Of Grounding?

[jka37]

What is the goal of grounding?

Is it to keep from losing time and losing touch with reality, or is it to return you to "normal?"

I find that I am never able to ground to the point that I am back to normal...but I keep enough awareness to survive.

What are we aiming for with grounding? How good can it be, and why do grounding techniques only work for me while I am doing them?

 

[Lionheart]

Hi jka,

If I am not mistaken, grounding techniques are used to help bring us out of the flashback and into the present moment of the here and now. *(someone please correct me if I am wrong).

LH

 

[maddog]

I wouldn't worry too much about "normal" or how any definition of it fits into this puzzle. "Normal" is a fairly false construct anyway and for the purpose of grounding it doesn't really have any relevance.

My understanding of the purpose of grounding is to detach from emotional pain of some kind, to remain focused and grounded in the present and so of course to manage the influence of flashbacks as LH said.

Unfortunately, by its very nature, I suppose strictly speaking it is only ever effective as long as you're actually doing it, but the goal is that with practice and lots of repetition, the techniques become easy to recall and almost automatic and can be employed during the early phases of emotional distress to prevent them from escalating or becoming overwhelming.

Hope that helps. Grounding really is good stuff, but you have to work hard at it in the beginning, even when it seems silly and unhelpful, and you have to be willing to focus on what works for you and what doesn't, because there are a lot of recognized techniques and only some of them will have relevance and use for you, and it can take some trial and error before you find the types that are effective.

Maddog

 

[Hashi]

Normal? What's that?

What you asked was interesting. I never thought about this before, but I suppose grounding for me is very literal. I need to connect to the ground I'm standing on again. Like having an anchor, so I don't float up and away.

Before my world changed to trauma central, I remember that I read a book on psychic protection by William Bloom. I can't remember now why I was reading it, but I remember the grounding exercises. One was imagining that you were like a tree, with your roots going deep into the earth. Another was to imagine that when you walk your feet are a few inches below the surface of the ground. I understand these better now that I'm in danger of drifting off into space.

I think grounding is about staying with reality and feeling safe while doing it.

 

[jka37]

Unfortunately, by its very nature, I suppose strictly speaking it is only ever effective as long as you're actually doing it, but the goal is that with practice and lots of repetition, the techniques become easy to recall and almost automatic and can be employed during the early phases of emotional distress to prevent them from escalating or becoming overwhelming.

But what you say, Maddog, makes me wonder if I've been doing it wrong or have had the wrong idea. I have been triggered/stuck in alter state for up to 8 hours at a time...I can't focus on grounding that long, at least yet. Grounding has only been a brief respite from overwhelming dissociation, anxiety, terror, and inability to function. Any thoughts?

Hashi, does that mean that you get to function normally again, or does that just mean you are aware of reality?

 

[Daisygirl]

Hi - I agree with the posts here already. Grounding is about using techniques to keep you "grounded" in the present, so that the mind doesn't slip into the past trauma. As maddog stated, it is hard to do at first. In the beginning, when I was dissociating so much that I was losing a lot of time, I tried a lot of different things.

At the time, the one "safe" place that I could think about that was trigger free was the beach. So, I carried a small conk shell with me everywhere. It had a sharp point on it so that when I got stressed I could hold it in my hand and press my fingers on the point. It didn't hurt me, but the pressure reinforced I wasn't in the past. The shell helped reinforce safety to me without doing verbal exercises.

So, is there a place, photo, thing that has nothing but positive associations for you? If so, then if you can find a way to carry that with you, it can become a symbol for the verbal grounding work. The verbal work is very important, but like you, in the beginning, I couldn't focus that long. My seashell helped me a lot.

Also, at my worst, I took medication to help my mind stay more focused. That also helped, but of course I did experience a lot of side effects.

I hope this helps!

 

[The Albatross]

With grounding I am rooting myself in the present moment... when I anchor in the present, I am not going to be as easily pulled into the past, disassociation or a flashback. Mostly for me it's disassociation. It becomes more managable even when triggers are present for me to deal with.

 

[maddog]

8 hours is certainly a long slog jka, it must be awful for you, truly awful.

Perhaps it's that you haven't found a truly effective grounding technique yet, or perhaps it's that you actually require a more direct, active form of intervention? Without knowing a lot about the triggers and context of your dissociation it's hard to tell of course, but are you working with a T? What does he/she suggest/say about this?

It is certainly no silver bullet, I know we all know that there simply is no such thing when it comes to dealing with trauma. And sometimes it's a matter of persisting until we find a tool or strategy that works, and that can take a lot of time and patience and effort and thinking outside the box.

Maddog

 

[Lionheart]

Just thought I would share what helps me to ground; and that is to focus on my breathing in and out as if it were the ebb and flow of the ocean. This gives me a visual and a sound to associate with breathing and seems to help me maintain a normal breathing pattern/rhythm.

(It helps to practice this at first while listening to the sounds of the ocean, until the sound can be easily recalled without an audio track).

...somehow this seems to have the effect of "rocking me or lulling me" into a relaxed state and bringing me to focus on the present moment (my breathing), then in my mind, I will begin to name the things that I see around me, which further brings me into the present moment.

This method works for me and I can't say if it will have the same effect for you or not, (but it might be worth a try).

Don't give up tho', you will eventually find the thing that works for you.

Wishing you peace,
LH

 

[Hashi]

I might have a different take on this than other people, this is just my experience and what has worked for me.

If you're talking about up to 8 hours (which is awful, and I feel for you) then my personal view is that you need more than grounding. I did, when I first started recovering memories and was getting completely overwhelmed. What I needed was psychic protection, which is about getting much, much stronger in your psyche. it's something you do regularly, to build up your mental/emotional strength in a similar way to building up your physical muscles at the gym.

What I did was visualisation, which doesn't have to mean literally seeing something visual, just imagining it in some way that suits you, like a daydream or a story. I had different ways of imagining myself safe from flashbacks, nightmares, hallucinations etc. What I visualised was basically a) ways to fight off the other states of consciousness before they started and b) ways to get out of them if they still managed to start somehow. I also visualised ways for my subconscious to communicate with me about what it was holding in a gentler way. It took a lot of time and effort, but i was willing to do anything to stay away from the distressing and terrifying things I was experiencing.

I don't know if you think this might be relevant to you. I'm happy to explain more if you want.

Going back to your original question - and again this is my personal view, others may not agree - I think the goal of grounding is to bring you to the present moment, your present environment and being able to cope. When my "ungroundedness" was extreme, the usual grounding exercises weren't enough, because the underlying place I needed to get to wasn't there. It was only by doing serious psychic protection that I was able to establish a place that grounding exercises could take me to.

 

[safenow]

I don't know if you think this might be relevant to you. I'm happy to explain more if you want.

I know this is an old thread, but I would love it if you could explain more. I"m in need of new grounding tools right now. Thank you, Hashi. I've respected the answers you've given to so many people on the site.

 

[safenow]

I also visualized ways for my subconscious to communicate with me about what it was holding in a gentler way. It took a lot of time and effort, but i was willing to do anything to stay away from the distressing and terrifying things I was experiencing

How do you do that?