Relationship What Just Happened?

[KyGirl31]

Me and my sufferer were talking today and it was a pleasant conversation and then we began talking about my ex husband. I'm telling you it's like his personality just did a 360 in a split second. He begins telling me how my ex got off easy in the divorce and how I babied him. What really got me is he said" you know me and your ex are different right? I won't let you mother me." What does that even mean? I explained to him that I knew they were different and what did he mean by "mothering?" He then tells me how nothing my ex did was prolly good enough for me. I never said that at all. It seemed like he turned on me in the blink of an eye to make me out to be a bad guy. Our conversation was very pleasant and easy until my ex got brought up.

First of all what is " mothering"? Why would he make such accusations almost like making me think that nothing he did would ever be good enough for me? I never said that or insinuated it. It came out of nowhere. Like I was the villain and I've never had him to look at me that way or portray me like that. Why would he do that?

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Why would he do that? Nobody here can really answer that as we don't see things that he sees, and I don't believe it's PTSD related.

I wonder why you're bringing up your ex? Especially to your current partner.

 

[BewitchedBewildered]

Honestly, sounds like typical guy stuff. You know men. Sounds like deflected jealousy.

 

[rightkindofme]

I talk about my ex's all the time. And my husband's ex's. We are all still buddies.

I don't know what he meant but it doesn't sound very respectful.

 

[kahlan]

Honestly, I think bewitched hit the nail on the head. Exes are not generally allowed in conversations with my sufferer unless it's related to my child because it can set off the same type of argument. He needs to feel like he's the "alpha male" just a guy thing not necessarily ptsd related.

 

[nursenurse]

I think in most relationships there is usually "a" conversation about the ex from a longstanding relationship, more just to enlighten the current partner about what went on. Done properly, at the right time, this can foster some understanding. But it has to be respectful of all involved.

At any rate, your sufferer is totally off the wall and disrespectful. Maybe it was a bit too soon, maybe it was some hidden jealousy, or it could be a bad bit of personality coming out. I see a yellow flag out there, proceed with caution and keep your eyes open for other indicators. If he is using this against you now, a lifetime of this stuff will bring nothing but heartache. I lived a life like that. Never again.