Yesterday I told my oldest brother what happened to me. His reaction was so sweet and kind. I was scared to tell him. He wrote: you never had the life you should have had. They destroyed your life. he understand exactly what is wrong to me. Not even my mother understood this. My oldest brother was in the navy, he was away a lot. When I saw 1 of the abusers, another sibling, while I was busy with the rubbish. he wanted to help me. But I said; get away from me I don't need your help. You have been nothing but trouble to me. He left and than I shouted ; you will found out where you end up!
;When he dies I meant. There have been many tears, since yesterday, all the hurt that is woven within my being. All tangled with in me. It's coming lose now.
I really feel this. That moment when someone finally sees what you’ve been through—it’s powerful, but it also brings up so much. I know what it’s like to carry a story that no one wants to acknowledge, to be erased while the truth sits there in plain sight. When even your own mother doesn’t fully see it, that leaves a wound that’s hard to describe.
Your oldest brother giving you that validation—it matters. I never got that from my family, and I had to accept that I never will. But I know that hearing someone say,
"They destroyed your life
," can feel like both a relief and a gut punch at the same time. Because deep down, you already knew it. You’ve known it for years. But when someone else says it out loud, it makes it real in a different way.
The hurt that’s woven into you—I get that too. It’s like it’s been tangled up so long that when it finally starts to come loose, it feels just as painful as when it first happened. But I’ve learned that’s part of healing. The unraveling doesn’t mean you’re breaking—it means you’re finally letting go of something that was never yours to carry.
And your reaction to the abuser? That makes complete sense. I reached a point where I realized no confrontation, no explanation, no moment of reckoning would ever fix what was done to me. The only thing left was to protect myself, hold my boundaries, and let them face whatever they will when their time comes.
I just want to say—you deserved better. And you still do. Healing is messy, and it doesn’t come all at once. But this is part of it. And you’re not alone in it.
