What Kind Of Support Do You Have?

[squirrel]

What kind of support do you have to help you with your PTSD? I don't actually have PTSD but I have been researching about PTSD and trying to learn more about it. What relationships with others help you? How important is your support system? Are the people in your life understanding and help you?

 

[Overcomer]

I have PTSD. I have struggled having support. I lost a lot of "acquaintances" because I wasn't the same. Have a support system is essential to the healing process. There is one person that is learning about PTSD but is not a patient person. It's been really difficult because they refuse to listen for whatever reason. It's a journey I tell you!

 

[Emily18]

I have a very close friend that supports me. While she is a rather new person in my life we connected instantly and I am very grateful to have her. Having support has definitely helped me work through symptoms and also stay grounded at times. She is incredibly understanding and always encourages me to continue with the healing process.

 

[squirrel]

I'm so sorry to hear that! :( I hope this person tries to become more patient and understanding. I'm also sorry you lost a lot of acquaintances. I really do hope you build a strong support system someday. You deserve it!

And Emily I'm glad you have someone. My friend doesn't have ptsd but she goes through depression and I try my best to be there for her and support her.

I wish every single one of you had support. :( But I'm glad you can come here to talk.

 

[Overcomer]

Thank you squirrel. Building a strong support system is on my to do list. The forum is a good place. I just logged on tonight after a while. I'm glad I did!

 

[squirrel]

No problem Overcomer! Just like your name I know you will overcome your struggle and find an amazing support system. I'm glad you did too. I'm glad I became a Premium Member and helped give money to this forum. Seeing how you all support each other inspires me a lot. This forum is a good place to not feel alone, and eventually you'll build a powerful support system to help you. :)

 

[carrieon]

My therapist is my primary support person. My partner was understanding at first and tries to be compassionate but having no experience with mental health himself he doesn't understand the never ending nature of it (I have C-PTSD) which makes it hard for me to speak to him.

 

[shimmerz]

It has been a battle to understand even what support is. What I thought at the beginning of this journey was actually a thorn in my side. Those who spoke about the 'old me' which I will never be again, and trying to get me to be the old me and not honouring the changes that have become incorporated into me led me to much shame. I have broken free from that and surround myself with people who honour those changes.

Support systems change - they must because we are changing. I went through a nasty change that felt horrible when I realized that many who knew the old me were holding me back so I had to remove them from my support list. This was a painful but necessary step. I am now surrounded with people who are challenging me to be the best 'new me' that I can be and understanding the challenges that await me.

It was so hard to let go of the idea that I would be the old me again. With that came many changes. I now see that those changes are for the good.

 

[macca]

It is hard to find support. My husband was supportive when I was first diagnosed, but he is not good at listening, and is not patient, even though he loves me. So it's very difficult at times for him to understand. And it's often difficult for me to think I deserve understanding. I have told only a couple of other people. I know that they would be there for me if I really needed them, but it's difficult to reach out. However - this forum has been unbelievably wonderful for support, and I can be more open here, and there is nothing but support given back. It's good to learn to accept support this way. Other than here, my therapist is my main source of support.

 

[Abstract]

I have myself (sometimes that is a good and sometimes a bad thing) and online support. I am working towards getting professional support again.

 

[Seasounds]

What relationships with others help you?

• I have found it very beneficial to remove myself from friendships and relationships where the other people triggered me-due to their 'blaming' language, their frequent angry outbursts (e.g. constantly swearing when they spill milk, etc.), or their inability to have civil conversations-to work through problems verbally, or their inability to be respectful-kind and considerate, on a consistent level.

• A good relationship with myself is the KEY. Changing my relationships has taken time; it was dependent on my developing awareness of when I was triggered, and developing the courage to 'let go'.

• Two friends are very supportive.

• My psychiatrist and psychologist are great; it took time and multiple attempts/changes, to find the right ones.

• With effort, I have a working relationship with my boss; now have PTSD FMLA.

• Being a member of this Forum, is an immense help since 'in person' support groups are very hard to find, due to the tough subject matter, not being a Veteran, etc.

• I go to Alanon Groups-although they don't provide support for PTSD directly, they offer support for building health relationships, and are usually calming to me. My parents were alcoholics.

• Practicing meditation and yoga, and receiving various kinds of mind-body work and acupuncture, that facilitate movement from 'fight or flight or freeze', into centered calmness, assist me.

How important is your support system?

All of the above supports are virtual life lines. It has taken years/decades of developing the self-esteem, the courage, and the skills, to cultivate all of the relationships listed above. I needed to learn basic skills of relating, to come out isolation and pain. This is a big task for many PTSD folks. It took years for me to be able to trust a therapist.

Are the people in your life understanding and help you?

I have let go of my family and many friends, since they weren't understanding-they caused me suffering. I maintain only relationships that are supportive and understanding; I've constructed a new support system. :)

 

[maryiscontrary]

Like a lot of you, I am fortunate to have support. However, also like a lot of you, I had to get very tough on my toxic relationships. This is the key, not being around people who tear you down. I mean, like adhering to this rule like it was etched in stone, like it is a commandment.