What Lifetime Decisions Are You Thankful For?

[Abstract]

So, what are your positive decisions or good turning points in your life?

• The first tentative decision to try to say nice things to myself at age 15 without knowing what affirmations were. Without that tiny resulting improvement in self esteem I don't think I would have survived.
• Studying away from home despite the backlash the decision caused. The first tiny scrapings of being a separate person.
• Working. Not that not working was an alternative but it is hard to quantify what it gave me.
• Studying what I did. Despite it not being what I wanted and me dismissing its importance and feeling ashamed of it in a sense as my true passions and values were never realised, it is something I am very good at and enjoy and I have found it flexible enough to continue despite not functioning very well.
• The bit of psychology I studied. Less regret as a result and knowing that I would have been very able if I had done it.
• Travelling. The wonderful mind opening effect of it all and the adventure of it which is such a core part of my true nature despite me having problems doing it now. It helps me hold onto who I really am.
• Seeing the results of the emotional intelligence tests of work colleagues. The resultant understand that there are others who really do not feel for other people and can't be dealt with in the same way as others are. The differences to me.
• My worst mental breakdown. Everything started moving after this as it was my rock bottom. I couldn't like me enough to want to change for me but I started putting one foot in front of the other for others.
  
• Joining an online mental health forum for the fist time. I can't begin to quantify how life changing this was for me. It is only then that some lifetime blocks have started to lessen. Therapy never did it and I wonder if it ever would have. I don't believe so.
• Leaving my most long term therapist.
• The first time trauma was brought up. A turning point in my life that I did not want and still don't but needed.
• The first occurrence where I decided to and managed to prioritise self care over striving or success.
• Discovering mindfulness and radical acceptance and what that has brought me.
• The discovery of my fight defence (to do with myself) after much hard work and therapy.
• Starting diarising my emotions and daily experiences about 9 odd years ago. It started my awakening process and started revealing that things were not right in the way I functioned. It started the process of things being connected inside me rather than the profoundly disconnected state I had always dwelt in.
• The boundaries I set with my family - allowed to me to minimise the constant assault on my wellbeing that exposure created and without which I would be badly off and unable to heal.

 

[WillyKat]

Wow. Thanks all. There are some great posts here. I'll have to remember to summarize them after some point because I'm already seeing some recurring themes.

 

[Rissy215]

The only one I can think of is breaking off all communication with a ex when he cheated on me. It was unbelievably hard for me to realize I deserved better and most days I still don't believe that but I've managed to not go back to him. I'll probably end up single for the rest of my life but maybe that's better than being with someone who doesn't respect me.

 

[The Albatross]

This is a really great thread. I need to put my thinking cap on first.

 

[Definitely..maybe]

Great thread!

*I've become independent
*content to be just by myself and recognize it's better than a bad relationship.
*i know I'll be able to help others in the future with my knowledge
* I've learned a lot about domestic violence, abuse, childhood abuse and rape, and suffered them all in different ways.
* I'm overly polite and never want to hurt anybody.
* taking on a risky job because I was diagnosed and learned to practice saying NO every day.

 

[Lionheart]

I'm happy that I made the decision(s) to heal from abuse traumas, self-harm, and substance addiction, ......*(learning my basic human rights, developing and implementing healthy boundaries, developing integrity, embracing sobriety etc.)...

I'm thankful that I decided to go to college (me; a high school drop-out who later, graduated with honors).

I am thankful I started DBT, ( dialectical behavior therapy).

I am thankful I made the decision to put my family and friends at the top on my priority list.

I am thankful I made the decision to forgive one of the abuse perps.

I am thankful for my decision to renew my relationship with "The Creator."

 

[gone]

Finding this forum

Hear, hear! I only came onboard yesterday (I think) but it feels like the first breath of air I've had in months. Been feeling very very very very alone and now I see there are all kinds of people experiencing exactly what I am. Thank you whoever set this up. 'Tis a lifeline. As for me, hard to think of any good lifetime decisions just now, but I'll gladly echo others:

• Hiking, wilderness, backpacking. The big outdoor places that do trigger and scare me but also make me very very happy and renew me like nothing else
• Knowing I'll try and help other trauma sufferers in the future
• Starting EMDR therapy
• Being a good friend to a friend who got a PTSD Dx years before I realized I also had PTSD, when many others could not stay close by
• Travelling, feeling open to other cultures and myself within them (even though one of my traumas occurred while overseas)
• Adopting cats
• Sort of forgiving one of my perps
• Art, expressing myself, validating myself

(Other than that, millions of bad life decisions I've made.)

 

[The Albatross]

• I'm grateful I told the truth to my high school vice principal when asked why I was a chronic truant about what was happening at home.
• I'm grateful I moved out and away from my bio family at 17.
• I'm grateful I left my state and joined the military just before 19.
• I'm grateful that I successfully completed my tour of duty in spite of my first husbands problems (including drug addiction).
• I'm grateful that I chose to remain in my community instead of returning to So Cal. I avoided a lot of bat shit crazy.
• I'm grateful that I remarried.
• I am grateful that I had people around me that helped me to be aware of the physical and mental difficulties I was having and got my butt into recovery and therapy.

Not a whole lot but it's a start. Maybe I'll think of more.

Edited to add a couple more:

• I'm grateful I didn't suicide or kill myself with booze
• I'm grateful I was able to get out of my violent first marriage before he killed me.
• I'm grateful for the women mentors in my life that appeared exactly when I needed them to assist me with recovery and help me learn what I needed to know gently so I could get better.

Just realized I kept saying grateful instead of "thankful". Hmmm. I guess in my brain it's sort of synonymous.