• We are a multilingual website again. Read the notice about this.
  • Understand AI use at MyPTSD: all AI use is explained in our AI help page. AI use is by choice here. It exists if you want it, but does nothing unless you choose to use it.

What Made You Angry Today?

Status
Not open for further replies.
I don't know whether I should be angry, shocked or terrified.

I found out that my ex H is letting my 9 year old son go down to the underground car park of the hotel where he rents his studio flat, on his own to collect things from the car. And then I found out that he is also letting my 11 year daughter do the same on her own or with her taking my 4 year old daughter along with her. So the 11 year old is in charge of the 4 year old in a dark, underground unsupervised car park with car keys in tow. Jesus.
 
Spending 20 minutes correcting all my spelling errors in a diary post, only to have it all wasted because I didn't put in a reason for the edit. That really got my goat...and thankfully it was the only thing that did today.
 
I am so scared.....no terrified....that I am fighting anything and everything. There is no sense to my lashing out. Blind terrified panic expressed as uncontrolled angry outbursts at anything, and everything.

Where is my head, where is my rationality, when am I?
 
Woman in front of me walking to pick up her kids from school with her dog in tow. The dog poos on the pathway on the road that lots of kids walking home walk along. Does she bother to pick up the poo? No, she just walks on.

And I shouted at her "Pick it up" Her excuse, "Sorry I don't have any plastic bags" So I just walk by and say "You take your dog for a walk, you carry bags. I don't want my kids stepping in dog poo, that is just foul"

She carries on with the fake apologising "What can she do?" Well I thought that was obvious. Not in the mood for idiots if you have a dog, and take it for a walk you know it is going to poo and you carry the plastic bags and pick it up, not leave it so people, especially kids end up stepping in it. She could at least have kicked it to the edge. Ughhh
 
I'm angry at myself. It isn't fair that I am but it's how I am feeling. Still relating my helplessness to those of having stayed with an emotionally abusive person for so long, even knowing what I knew about him but hoping that the good would out way it somehow. Now when I am going through things he haunts me in my dreams and reveals my under-belly of weakness, just how dependent I can be, subservient I was, meek and pathetic. Is that what I am today??!!! A Victim of myself??!!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Donation drives

2026 Donation Goal

Goal
$1,800.00
Earned
$910.00
This donation drive ends in
0 hours, 0 minutes, 0 seconds
  50.6%

Trending content

Featured content

Back
Top Bottom