What Makes You Angry Today?

[Kaishi]

Now that's exactly what I was talking about.(y)

 

[holdenmonty]

Let's see what it's making me angry today... My family... I am attempting to open up to my wife about what is going on with me and I feel like she is just pushing it off as something I have to deal with on my own. My three year old keeps shitting in his pants but shits in the toilet for the baby sitter. And the one year old is getting into the screaming faze and then his three year old brother thinks he had to join in, and I get yelled at by my wife for slapping the one year olds hand when he's playing in the dogs water and/or food. And to top it all off yesterday I was explaining to our three year old how I'm disappointed in him for pooping his pants and the wife interrupts by slamming the door open right into me and starts yelling at me to get out and instead of physically retaliating for her slamming the door into me I went for a walk and ended up walking about 4 miles before I managed to control myself enough to go home

 

[Raven]

And that's why I'll never have kids. I get angry enough occasionally about other people's children.

 

[atilla]

Good job holden, good idea to take a walkabout to clear your head. Next step, try to talk about the whole situation that brought this on with the missus.

 

[holdenmonty]

it sure wasn't easy. I have printed out some stuff on PTSD to try and help my wife understand the beast better so when it rears it's ugly head like it did she understands that it isn't me but it's the beast inside me at times. I'm just getting no response from her about any of it and that is frustrating at times as well. I feel like I'm doing work to try and understand it so I can better control it but she acts like it's something that I need to handle on my own...

 

[Raven]

The whole "it's not me, it's the beast" thing seems like a cop-out to a lot of people. I used to pull that card a lot, and then accused those who struggled to get close to me of not being understanding enough.

I'm not saying you blame the beast frivolously, but you're ultimately responsible for your own actions. Let your wife know that you're still subject to accountability.

 

[holdenmonty]

Thanks Raven I haven't gotten to the point where I blame the beast but good catch before I get to that point. I will talk to her about it tonight. Looking back on it I have given myself excuses for some of the things I have done because of the beast.

 

[Grizzly]

I blame the beast a lot. At least there is finally something to explain why I am the way I am.

Most of my life I thought I was either crazy or had severe sociopathic thoughts. Upon discovery there was all most some type of relief in a strange way.

 

[OldDoorGunner]

I like what Raven has said. However there are times when you can use the Beast as an excuse. That is why you are here I hope, to learn to control the f*cker, so you don't have to use an excuse. That as you know will take some time.

You are on track by printing out some stuff on PTSD to try and help your wife understand what PTSD is and how it works. Now it's up to your wife to learn about it!!! If she does not want to learn about it, that is up to her. This would not be good for her or you, if she does not..............If she will not work with you, maybe you can get her to work with a therapist??? I am sorry to say this, but it's not good when it's one sided.......You need to work on the beast and have some back up from your wife.......With out that things will only get more out of line and make it harder for you to deal with. We can only carry so much of a load Brother......

J R

 

[holdenmonty]

I totally understand the relief. It's almost like somebody that finds out that they have diabetes it's good because it explains things that have been going on but it sucks because now they are going to have to deal with it but at least now they are aware of what it is.

 

[holdenmonty]

Amen to that ODG. I do take partially responsibility for her ignorance of PTSD because I have hid all the stuff I have been experiencing to try and to protect her and my family from it. I wondered why she was so crazy while and a while after she was pregnant so I did some research while she was crazy and found out that it is her hormones being all over the place so I tried to be accepting and understanding and tried to help her through it and even now she still has some interesting moments and I just accept it as her hormones going all crazy and I try to be understanding and help her. I know I haven't done a perfect job but I have put in the effort, and I feel like she can at least put in the effort.

 

[atilla]

ODG is spot on Holden. Having the missus watching my six, has been the big turnaround in my battle with the beast, and this forum, you brothers and sisters, you guys are proof to every vet on here that were not alone in this. To give an idea to my wife what its like to be deployed in a combat ao, i got her to watch the documentary "Restrepo", i mean really get her to listen to the dialog, and take in the footage. They wont know how it feels to us, but at least they can get an idea of how we live and possibly die on deployments to some ratshit country. Peace.