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What Makes You Sad Today

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I am sad today because a buddy I knew and flew with on several dangerous rescue missions, killed himself. He had been a fireman for 30 years after we both went to the same college. He didn't graduate. Always wanted to be a fireman. He did not have enough of pararescue. Handsome guy, a religious fanatic, but was there when ever you needed him. Strong. He would draw cover while I fixed the victim. He really was not that good at keeping someone alive. But he was a good fighter. We both fished along the causeway......

This thing is just too much sometimes. I thought he would be OK when I moved. One wife. 4 kids, and a lot of grandchildren. I think he reasoned he just did not have anything to live for. His wife is a jangle of nerves. The kids who are grown up are really lost. I just don't get it but I guess I have stared down a barrel many times.

Damn. Every time I wished they just would have called me.........
 
As you may know I have one son, one foster daughter and many surrogate kids who call themselves "the pack". Most of them since school and friends for a long time.
To me, most of them are my own kids, I've always been their kelda, even before we knew the word. I often say I have one daughter and many sons

One of my dear ones lost their little boy yesterday. Gijs had lung problems investigated in january and they discovered a leaky heart valve. He had surgery twice to repair it but it wasn't good. Earlier this week Gijs fell down and hurt his head.
They scanned for damage and found a bleeding in his little brain. He'd been kept in a coma since then and yesterday the decision came to stop life support.
Gijsje was 3 years old. My heart is broken but I'm numb inside.
 
Thank you all. Sunday we get to say our goodbyes to the little man. Wednesday (next week) is his cremation.
It's Dutch custom to have an open coffin where possible so all visitors can say goodbye in a mourning center or at home.
On the cremation we are asked to bring just a tiny flower and stickers of Stitch, cartoon character he loved much.

They just moved house to have enough bedrooms for all children. There was a climber plant in the garden they cleared. Some branches were still in the garden, Gijsje tripped over them and slammed his little head on the ground. This resulted in a hemorrage in the brain and was irreversible.
Whatever the cause, he's not coming back but as a warning to others.
I've still not cried, simply unable to.
 
Damn, sorry to hear Dutchie.

Prayers offered, if welcome. And for you, hoping for comfort, in however small steps it comes.
 
A friend of mine (and fellow vet) died of an overdose. I had distanced myself from him many months ago because he was a heroine addict and he did not want help from me or anyone else. Still, I hoped he would get his shit together and seek help eventually.

f*ck this gay earth.
 
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