What Makes You Sad Today

[Ronin1]

Tried to be a chef, but no. Every time I come back to school it just f*ck up my head. I get super depressed.

 

[Deleted member 43454]

Shit man, sorry to hear that.
Do you have any idea as to what is causing you to be depressed at school?
Is it the classmates or the way you're treated there etc?
Maybe just the added stress?

 

[Ronin1]

Nah. The pressure. I'm a farther, husband, student. With a 50% disability. Trying to be something for my family.
Truth be told, if I did not have my daughter, I would not be on earth any more.

 

[Deleted member 43454]

Well hang in there man an make sure to stay strong for your daughter.
She's going to need you there and you can always find a different career path.
A local veteran out here took his life and left behind two daughters and his wife and I can't imagine how difficult its going to be for them to continue forward. Keep your head up its not the end of the line.

 

[Ronin1]

Well. That also pisses me of. If someone dies after battling with cancer, everyone says, he fought bravely, even if the person did not. But if I decide that I cannot live with what I've been part of, my family have to live with the stigma of me giving up.
For f*ck sake. I wish I was blown up back there.

 

[Deleted member 43454]

To those who experience it and know I understand. Others cannot understand it because it's not as well known or studied as cancer.
Hell you can't even get a purple heart for having your brain chemistry altered. When I found that ranger I saw him at peace and I knew the battle was too much for him an that he worked over 60 hours a week. Plus having a family must be a ton of stress. For me the warrior ethos is embedded in my brain to never give up, never surrender. But I also didn't have the stress he carried on top. When nobodies there to hear you out and the times get super dark you gotta rely on God.

Because if not you may vary well drown in the sea of depression. I was blown up back there and I can tell ya I'm not doing that much better lol if it weren't for the grace of God. I wish I coulda told him that you can find peace through God, man.

 

[Ronin1]

I lost God in Afghanistan.

 

[Deleted member 43454]

So did I for a period of time but what it was, was I turned from him he didn't turn from me. I thought because of my actions even though they were correct regarding the situation were not right with God. I woke up to the realization that no government could tell me it was alright to go into some poor persons land and fight them... It wasn't my place to be world police. Same for you I assume? You aren't out there just taking lives every day you've got a family you were trying to go to school. It's just a set back.. that's all. One step forward three steps back. Gotta get back up on that horse again man. God forgives you. If he can forgive me. If you wanna surrender. Surrender to him brother not the beast. Talk to him.

 

[Grizzly]

@Ronin I'm sorry you are having so much trouble brother. But...You need to just push through to the next obstacle.

Being a father and husband and trying to provide for your family is extraordinarily stressful. Then to add trauma stress on top. Bad mix.

But...this is only a new mission. Every day is, a new objective.

We are all given scars of war, some visible and some invisible. Ask most and they'll tell you the invisible ones are the worst to bear.

We were once guardians of our country. Now we're guardians of the most important part of our soul and that's our family.

It's good to reach out. Every now and then we all need a boost to get over the next obstacle. That's all it is, an obstacle.

 

[Ronin1]

I just can't see my way out. I'm depressed and alone.

 

[Deleted member 43454]

You just gotta keep moving forward man despite the setbacks. The depression is you had this picture of what it's supposed to be like and when it doesn't add up as it normally doesn't it causes depression and thoughts of giving up. But where one door closes another opens up you just need to hang in there and trust in God's timing brother. Maybe you learned all you needed to, to simply cook your family some good ass food. An another opportunity will come knocking down the road that makes you appreciate this door closing because you'll be better off in the long run. You never know but try to rekindle that faith.

And you won't find out if you don't stick it through.

 

[Terrier]

I agree with @Manonfire , take baby steps forward. I have no family and two sorta friends. Neither fully get what I am going thru, all on my own. What helps on the really bad days is a long walk, fresh air, different view. God has His plan, but damn if I understand what he has in mind for me. I want to give up many days, in fact I feel no one would even miss me. No one would even think to look for me especially where I live. I have 2 dogs and I use them as my only reason for getting out of bed in the morning.... You have kids, use them as your purpose to look forward, even if for only a few hours at a time. Keep the faith, Brother.