What To Do When Group Pokes A Personal Sore Spot?

[Spiderallis]

I'm very new to group therapy- only had two sessions so far. An upcoming exercise was mentioned today that would stomp down really hard on a trigger. The exercise is about mindfulness, they're going to experience a food instead of just eating it. That food is a 'double barrel trigger', there was a first round where the scent became a trigger and after that an abuser used the trigger like a weapon against me. I know I won't grow if I don't stretch, but I'm not strong enough for that yet.

What's a good way to deal with it when something in group is a personal trigger?

I'm going to talk with my T about it during our individual session. Is it letting the other group members down if I don't try? If I try it and have a meltdown that could be distracting and make it harder for other people to learn. If I went and left before the food part, I'd be afraid of someone asking why. Not going at all feels like lying. Maybe it's a boundary thing, to figure out how my piece fits into the whole of the group. That's a new concept, still very confused about it.

 

[therisa]

Have you talked with the group moderator, about your triggers with food? If not, that would be the first place to start, hoping they might suggest an alternative activity, for you and the group. If they can't find an alternative, least they will be on the look-out for any possible reactions, from you, Spiderallis. Wish i had better suggestions for you. Myself, the very idea of group therapy is, a triggering event for me.

 

[Venusian]

I have been in group where there was a trigger for me. I sat through it but I was a mess and had to calm down after group and I spoke to the moderator. She said that I could have just walked out of group for awhile until the exercise was done. In groups like I was in triggers are common and as individual as each person in the group. It isn't uncommon for people to take a break.

I can relate to what you are going through. For me the trigger is someone telling me when to breathe, so a lot of what was supposed to be a calming exercise wasn't. I have a new group starting next week, I am hoping that after a year working on this I can manage to go through all of the sessions this time.

 

[Spiderallis]

Thank you Therisa. My t is one of the group leaders and very open to input and suggestions. It doesn't seem a comfortable idea for another of the group members either, he's dealing with an eating disorder. I don't know much about those sort of issues, but we both got a bit fidgety and nervous when the idea came up.

Venusian, that sounds like a very tricky situation with the breathing exercises. It's a big part of the group I'm in, are you doing a DBT type of thing? Taking a little break is okay for my group, but in this case it's not a smell that fades quickly. I'll remember that if other triggers come up though, thank you!

Starting group was hard and scary. Knowing what to expect makes it a bit easier, but I still had to fight through the "I don't want to go!" to get out the door. I feel like a little kid with a plate full of brussel sprouts. Knowing it'll make me healthy doesn't make it taste any better.

 

[The Albatross]

I was in a group and though I didn't like it very much, I decided I was learning tolerance and patience, and some (though very difficult at times) open-mindedness.

 

[The Albatross]

Willingness too... willing to stick it out with the group. I figured it was an encapsulated "life lesson" of sorts. It was my opportunity to learn how to roll with a small group. Did I do it? Yes. Did I like it very much? Um, nope, not really. But I did do it and I did develop some skills.

 

[BloomInWinter]

Even in group therapy, you always have the final say and choice to do what you want to, or to take a pass on things which you feel will be too intense.

A simple "I'll pass on this one, thanks" is all that's necessary. You don't owe anyone an explanation.

Now that you know that's a trigger for you, you have a verifiable target for exposure therapy, when you decide you are ready to be free of it. That can be handled between you and your therapist in your one-on-one.

Great self-awareness and self-protection! This is a true sign of growth, watching your limits and taking action.

Definitely give yourself a pat on the back!

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I understand wanting to push yourself, but in all honesty, I don't necessarily think it's good or even important to push through all of our triggers.

I have a few trigger foods. I get instantly throw up kind of sick if I even smell them. But, my foods are processed crap that are easily avoidable. Bologna. Fruity Pebbles. Honey Comb. Yeah, I don't see the point in pushing through them because I'm not exactly missing out on anything.

A lot of things, yes, we should push through, but only you can decide if and when you are ready. Don't let the group dictate the speed of your recovery.

I guess I also find it a bit odd that this exercise is being done with a group member who has an eating disorder? I was always under the assumption that their treatment was a bit more specialized and food issues wouldn't be dealt with in a group of non disordered eating people?

 

[BloomInWinter]

This is an example of using the taste sense to help us ground ourselves when we are in distress. It's just part of developing a senses-based toolkit we can use at home. Since it's purpose is to help engage our senses to lower our activation level, a triggering food would defeat the purpose. Keep experimenting to find something that works.

For me, it's a slice of lime. it can be found in most restaurants and the sourness helps me focus my attention on the taste.

 

[Abstract]

I can't see any benefit exposing yourself to a known trigger in a group situation where you would not have individual attention and management and can't see this would be helpful for the eating disorder member either. Its great you discussed this with the t.

 

[Hashi]

It sounds like the aim of the exercise is nothing to do with overcoming anxieties or responses but is about learning a coping/supportive skill. In that case, working with something very difficult for you would be counterproductive.

I have to say I hate mindfulness exercises that involve eating. I suspect a lot of people have problems with them, for various reasons.

I don't think you'd be letting other group members down. How would it be helping them if you did it and were feeling distressed as a result, when the idea is presumably to teach everyone a calming skill? Even if you said nothing, people pick up on that kind of energy on a subconscious or even conscious level.

I agree with what others have said. Talk to your therapist/group facilitator about an alternative, or bow out of doing it altogether.

 

[anthony]

You don't let anyone down by trying... but you will let yourself down by not trying. Maybe trying is to simply enter the room, see the food and that is your exposure for the day. Maybe you can get closer, see it, feel it even, before feeling overwhelmed that a trigger is coming. Don't throw yourself on a grenade though... approach it so that you're comfortable and let the group know it's a major trigger for you and may take you more time with that food to adjust / be present.