What To Do When You Get Past Crisis Stage?

[Cool Cat]

Hi guys,
Firstly: a huge thanks to anyone who liked or commented on my one year self harm anniversary post! I was not expecting it and it means so much, I will be getting back to all of you.

Anyways, when I started therapy I was a complete pathological mess. I was not functioning on the most basic levels, I was addicted to self harming and I had strong suicidal thoughts. Thankfully, I am not like that anymore. I was lucky to find a very skilled therapist in the nick of time.

My T has taken some time off and I'm seeing him tomorrow morning for the first time in three weeks. This is the first time he's taken a break where I have been able to cope without getting completely panicked, depressed or falling back on self harm.

The thing is though, I still believe I am not fully healed. I am doing extremely well however I still have a way to go. I still cannot do close relationships or intimacy, let alone sexual relationships. I still have poor self worth. I still feel a pang of deep anger for the childhood I did not have.

Are these needs or wants? I feel that things like the above need to be addressed in order for me to sustain mental stability. But I am afraid my T will suggest I should end therapy or that I'll feel so awkward I need to terminate. These above problems are not as dramatic, they do not heal in a few intense sessions. I'm not sure how they heal, I'm not sure how to say to my T that we are going down another road. I'm really afraid he'll reject me or that I won't be able to solve these issues.

What do you think? Anyone here in the same boat on a side point? It seems people are dying to help people in suicidal crisis but after that they are not interested.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

I'm happy for you and I wish I could achieve that success myself... Years of self harm, and everything is teeny tiny steps, at least I don't get to shaking within minutes of starting to resist the urge anymore...

In my honest opinion, any therpahist that simply dumps someone after one problem sovled, shouldn't be a therpahist at all, and seeing that yours was with you all this way, I doubt giving up is something to do.

Yeah, the last sentence, people really don't want to feel the guilt of someone dying on them... From personal experience, it's awful.

And then, those who just leave someone floating after preventing suicide, what's the point even. It's like a person in pain wanting to end it, but all you do is take away their way of ending it, and just leave the pain. A proper person should also help, and give something else, another option, instead of taking out the exit one.

Repeating, really happy for you getting this far! :hug: Good luck in furhter recovery, and stay strong!

 

[mrsps]

I cant imagine your T would want to drop you. The thing is now that you are stable is now the time to work through all those other issues that will be easier to work through now you are in a more stable position. Your T must be so proud of your achievements and I am sure they will be happy to further work through any issues you have.
Well done with the recovery you have made so far :)

 

[Suzetig]

Well done on your progress, you've done so well. Try to take some time with your therapist to talk about your achievements in coping during the break. I regularly think my T is going to drop me and we've had a few discussions about the work we're doing and tailing off etc, but I'm still there.

The issues you're talking about slowly get healed in relationship, now you get to talk about deeper stuff, how you see yourself, feelings you have about relationships, what it is about intimacy or vulnerability that you feel you don't manage so well. It's slow work and, honestly this feels harder and more scary for me than dealing with being in crisis but it's also more rewarding.

I'm on a break too just now and have that "she's going to want to end" feeling, in the break I've noticed some things I'm managing better, done things I'm still struggling with but I get through it more quickly and a couple of things have popped out of the woodwork that I just didn't expect. Progress looks different and can been seen over time, good luck in the next phase of your work.