What To Never Say To A Ptsd Sufferer

[This Ends Now]

Said to me in the last 30 min (by someone who was trying to be helpful)

-"So what have you been doing the past few days?"
ummm... trying to stay alive... its been successful so far
-"What are your goals for the next week?"
take my meds and not harm myself or others
-"Have you made any progress on finding a job?"
my doctor and 2 shrinks have advises against that right now... flashbacks do not look good on a resume
-"What are your plans for finding your own place?"
I'm sorry, I thought the fact that Joseph was paying for my rent made THIS my own place... but I would be happy to look into other options.
-"Its easy to just get lost in a movie or facebook games"
yes it is, would you rather I go back to getting lost in drugs and alcohol?

 

[yell]

I am a university student and have enrolled with disability services to receive accommodations for my pstd. When I brought my supervisor the form indicating that I am asking for extended time writing papers, his response was "well I don't know...they're really cracking down on this in grad studies" and I said for all my brothers and sisters "they're cracking down on people with disabilities?!?"...I received a look of shock and awe. It shut him up for a short while.
Thank you for this topic...I will be back regularily!!

 

[picklerina]

I am afraid to continue to mention I have been newly diagnosed. Not even my own mom.. normally, everyone just says "When have you ever saw combat? There is no way you can have PTSD."
Ignorant, ignorant, ignorant... :mad:

 

[hapa_gurl87]

I hate when people make me feel like PTSD is just something that is fleeting and passing and I should just get over it. Or when they say everyone has problems just get over it or why are you complaining you're not the only one. I can just imagine what other people might say who I'm glad I havn't met but I can just think of some stuff some ignorant asshole would come up with. Like "It's not like you ever fought in any war" Like PTSD doesn't effect people who've experienced trauma outside of a war zone. "whats wrong with you just be happy and have fun" or "let the past go and move forward." "The reason why your suffering is because you're always thinking about your past just be in the moment" "you don't have it nearly as bad as i do so stop complaining" or "you cant get ptsd from that" like you would know what causes ptsd or doesnt. I can think of a million things but that just the most significant ones i think ive heard or would just get extremely offended if anyone had the nerve to say those things to me.

 

[LoveWins]

"You're so oversensitive/overemotional/touchy/paranoid!"...

 

[Pinstrypsoldier]

I dealt with the aftermath of helicopter that crashed into a police station in Iraq and had to collect the 'pieces' and put them into bags. One of which was a woman's eyeless face that looks at me all the time, and has done for the past 5 years. I can't open doors anymore or sleep with the light off and I'm 24.

I've had, "Hey look on the bright side," (as if I can see one,) "At least it didn't happen to you."

"You should be prepared for stuff like that" - I'm an infantry soldier, not part of the Medical sector. Either, you CANNOT prepare yourself for that.

"You should've just said 'no'", like it's my fault.

"Come on, that was like, 5 years ago! Not bein' funny, but get over it!"

This is the best one, spoken by my (now ex - for this reason) girlfriend during an argument about why she couldn't understand why I have 'good' days and 'bad' days - "Its YOUR fault anyway!" :naughty:

 

[LikeCharlotte]

I was recently told that I should stop "playing the victim". I replied, did it EVER occur to you that I am a victim? I fight every day to put the pieces of my life together.

Another gem "I don't think those meds are doing anything for you."
Well, I do!! I need them. I like being able to go to work and sleep through the night.

Also heard "Take some responsibility for yourself" ummmm, I am on my own and doing battle with daily life tasks. I am managing to survive despite massive memory leaks and loss - despite how tired I am.

One more "Don't focus on that now. Focus on getting better."
These things are not mutually exclusive. I'd love to let it all go and be a whole functional person again but climbing that mountain means facing the demons. If I could do that I would be fine. Obviously I CAN'T.

:poke: I avoid idiots who say these things. Its the only way.

 

[LikeCharlotte]

Oh I forgot this one "You need to get out more and have fun"
No. I don't. It can be a horrific experience at times and I will go out when I feel like I want to. I am sorry I am not who YOU would like me to be right now but it would be nice to hear "hey, maybe we could just watch some movies at your place" instead of "Do you think you might want to go into a roomfull of drunk strangers with us?"

 

[DreamCatcher]

Once when I told a friend I was receiving benefits for this disability I was told "good for you! If you can ride that gravy train you should!"
As if my disability benefits are enough. As if I WANT to be on food stamps.
My mom, stop being so dramatic. take better care of yourself. go to law school. I can't talk to you about things that never happened.
My sister - you're just trying to destroy our family!(This was the most hurtful... no, DAD destroyed our family. Thanks.
Thanks for this thread!

 

[Cate]

I LOVE this thread! I've already posted something but I had to look at it again.

Thanks so much, all of you, for talking about this.

I mentioned something that happened to me to my mom and she told me, "Oh, that's all in your head." Needless to say, she't not going to be someone I keep in my 'Good Friend' phonebook.

Blah. Oh well, I hope all of you hang in there.

Cate :occasion:

 

[LoveWins]

Well, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. You'll be fine

 

[DreamCatcher]

Haha yeah, I'm made of steel by now! I feel so much love for all of you right now, take good care... I need each of you to keep me sane... well, saner!