What Went Wrong In Therapy - Trying To Work It Out

[ghotiff]

Thanks @Pencil.

One of my issues is that I can't trust my 'gut'. I don't specifically know where this comes from, but I haven't ever trusted it and I don't get the same 'instincts' that other people get. I surround myself with people who do have really good instincts and I trust them. Unfortunately that doesn't work well in therapy because no-one else is there.

Maybe I need to have really high expectations, and if they don't meet them then I should move on and try someone else. ?

 

[Pencil]

Your gut is not in your head. You thought it was okay, but did it feel okay? Did you feel you were going in the right direction? Did you feel safe with her? Did you feel she cared about you at all? What did you feel about HER (not necessarily the process)?

No, I think expectations will only confuse you more.

 

[ghotiff]

Thanks @Pencil. No, it didn't feel okay. I felt crap and hated digging into my past and re-living the events as I described them to her. I hate her having a file containing the information. I also hated realising some of the new things that came out during my processing with her. Actually, as I type I realise an important thing. I realised a few things with her that I wish I never knew.....but in contrast while on this forum I have realised a few new things that while were difficult to accept I don't regret knowing them.

Thanks for these insights, they really are helping.

I suppose I thought that the process would be hard and that feeling crap was to be expected and that I was giving up, and a failure if I didn't follow through with it. Supporting this are the comments here where people are gaining help through therapy, but they find it hard and have bad days after their sessions. Its hard for me to work out what the 'right' amount of discomfort/pain is.