What Were You Like Before Ptsd?

[p-no]

I am sure you have a lot of beautiful quotes in those books. :) Happens to me too btw that the best things come to mind in the middle of falling asleep...

 

[piratelady]

My thinking is, if you don't know who you were pre-PTSD then look at it as an opportunity. As you begin to heal from the trauma, it is an opportunity to be the type of person you want to be. Like a blank slate. I am trying to think the same for myself. I will probably never be the person I was, but as I heal I can work to be a new version of myself, one that I love even more than I loved Pre-PTSD me.

 

[Tinyflame]

Not me. I was 'lovable' before the ptsd, *can be* if I hide it, not to be my own self though, just not my experience.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Before ptsd I was a people pleasor, I did not know how to say not to people so I led a very complicated life.

I was always trying so hard to fit in with others. I do not do this anymore. I am home in my own body now. I was such a wreck. I was groomed to be the perfect victim, and I was. I had alot of pain and anguish.

I would continually tell myself not to think over and over. I was very confused by what was going on around me. The only time I felt like me was with the kids or the animals. I was very good with kids. I really could relate to them. This is a great thread. I keep on remembering things.

It shows me what a long way I have come.

 

[heidi]

Sometimes I try to think of the negative things I was. Granted I'm a lot of things I don't like now. But before I was kind of high strung and now I'm like whatever about small things. Or at least I'm not invested in small things. It helps to think more about the negative things I'm not anymore then it does to think about the positive things.

 

[Abby]

I was very very different. I definitely lost a lot, at some times, my whole self. I used to be very stress-resilient, I could work 10 hours a day and I loved it. I could cope with criticism very well. I could distance myself from it and stay true to myself. I was always striving and very motivated and interested in what I could do and in life. But I accepted myself always. I didn't need to do any of these things to feel well.

I didn't expect so much of me. I felt like everyone else, more or less, and did not feel the need to be or do better than everyone just to not feel worse. I was more confident, I felt safe and I was more calm and forgiving of myself. I didn't feel the need to control everything because I trusted that somehow, things just fall into place. I was always somewhat shy but I didn't have bad self-esteem. I felt powerful. I had trust in the world.

 

[Abby]

" I will probably never be the person I was, but as I heal I can work to be a new version of myself, one that I love even more than I loved Pre-PTSD me." that´s nice, piratelady :)

 

[storycat]

I liked myself a lot more before PTSD. I had some big flaws (binge eating, tried too hard to please people, and the like) but overall I was a pretty normal person--"Normal" meaning you can achieve the given tasks asked of most human beings in the world. I liked myself. Now I feel terribly stuck. I want to get back there. I remember what it was like to be able to think clearly for one thing. I loved to write. I could write for hours and produce a product I really liked and that was quality. Now, my ability to prioritize and research is so far from me. I can pick myself up and feell "normal" every once in a while for a few minutes, but then the incessant thinking and worrying returns. CBT helps for a while, then stops. I'm so worried I'll never be able to get back to that lively, thoughtful creature I used to be. Has anyone had any success in becoming as happy as they were before PTSD?

 

[Abby]

Hey storycat! Your post could almost be written by me, I can really relate! I don´t know for sure, but I feel very postive that you CAN be as happy as before. maybe even more. Because when you do, you have proven and gained big strength!

 

[Aqib]

Haha, I'm not even sure how long I've had PTSD, though I imagine at least a few years before I was actually diagnosed. What was I like? Not being facetious when I say I don't remember. Less neurotic I suppose. More innocent.