What Would You Do?

[cherryblossom]

My opinion is, that you have to do what is right for you. Time to be selfish!
If you want to divorce now, then go ahead...... after what he has done, you have a right to that, I think. If I were you, I would want a divorce ASAP, and cut him out of my life. Then concentrate on myself, my therapy, my healing, and my family and friends.

But I'm not you! Waiting until he is 'done' with therapy, and has a new job, could indeed take years. Even when/if he acheives these goals, he might start adding more.

Taking charge and doing what you want, could be very empowering for you. JMHO

Whatever you decide, remember to take care of you through all of this.

 

[deer_in_headlights]

Dear Healing Survivor,

I just now saw your thread.. stunned...
Everyone here is giving you beautiful, from-the-heart, caring thoughts. I'm glad you're here and posting. Please, in all of this, it is time to learn and practice how to take gentle, loving care of YOU. Not the one who has deceived and hurt you and others.
You deserve your nurturing care, and this is what you must do to survive... otherwise you'll continue to be eaten alive by the predator in your life (believe me, I know). It's also extremely difficult to disentangle from someone like this. It's like being held by a squid..

With deep concern and caring,
Deer

 

[Lightseeker]

Oh my Lord. You need to be biblical here. And I don't mean "turn the other cheek". I mean "An eye for an eye." Where was his consideration for you when he was doing what he was doing? He IS a PREDATOR. From what you first posted, he was seeking multiple victims. You need to get as far away from him as you can. Predator's do not NEED support. Stop treating him like a victim too, and realize he is the perpetrator. Do not wait for him to finish therapy. Suppose he decides to stop going to keep you hanging on? I know it is hard. Any change is scary as all get out. But do you really want to go through this again? How many battered women take the man back because he said he was sorry and promised never to hit them again? Over and over and over again. He didn't break a sacred trust - he shattered and then pulverized the shards of it. Please take care of yourself. Value yourself enough to heed the many voices that care about you here. Please keep yourself safe from this ... beast.