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Whatcha doooooooin'?

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Trying to make an outline for the book I'm writing.

I discovered, as I was working on family history for this book, that my grandmother was married before she married my grandfather and that when her ex was remarried, he said she was dead.

Good grief.
 
Just ripped up some peppermint leaves, packed them in a jar, and poured some everclear over them to make an extract for myself and to share as gifts.

Then rinsed my fenugreek seeds and drained them so they'll sprout soon, and put the rest of the fresh herbs in water. Will deal with them tomorrow.
 
Taking a tearful trip down memory lane as I scroll through pictures of my late mom's home place, remembering childhood memories of snapping beans on the front porch, Sunday dinners each week with my grandparents, my aunt working her ass off in the yard and garden, washing freshly dug potatoes at the well pump, picking rhubarb for pies, rolling down the huge hills, picking pears, picking flowers, etc. Makes me miss them all even more than I usually do, especially with mothers' day approaching.

The process of selling it is still in motion. Hurry up and wait, and then some. Luckily, someone who will love and value it just as much as she did is trying to purchase it. Someone I had a discussion with about it way before it was ever put on the market. He's a deputy sheriff with a huge heart, a beautiful family, and a love for the land. She never wanted to separate it into parcels, and neither does he. He wanted to get it to prevent someone else from getting it and turning it into subdivision.

May the paperwork trail flow smoothly as the love keeps getting poured into it. Hope you're proud of how we've handled everything, mom. Thanks for the subtle and not-so-subtle signs along the way that have helped steer the process. Miss you everyday.
 
Trying to find the will power to do some exercise or eat. I need some sleep but daytime sleeping just makes everything go haywire brain wise, so sadly that’s not an option ;)
 
I went to bed early last night so I am up for the day. I am drinking my morning coffee and thinking about family memories. I was born into a small family and was the eldest of three siblings. Mom, dad, and my baby brother and sister are gone now and I am trying to remember our life and times together without getting too sad or depressed.

I recognize a tendency to wallow in my misery and I am trying not to do that this time. It is ok to grieve but I certainly don't need to add to the pain and loss. I just need to express myself honestly and get on with the business of living, ...which is what my family would want for me. I find that being and staying positive is tricky. So it is that I am here where I get the majority of support and reality checks.
 
3.12am. Eating victory oats because I finished my research report I've been working on for weeks.

(victory oats: rolled oats, hot water, dried apricots, coconut, cinnamon, coconut yoghurt, cashew butter, drizzle of maple syrup)
(aka food that I was able to scramble together somewhat quickly and quietly, whilst still being tasty enough to count as a celebration and nutritious enough to help me head off to sleep hopefully very soon).

Goodnight ?
 
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