General What's Going On When Carer Gets Angry At Sufferer's Depression

[Felicitas]

What do I do with it? Some days I feel depressed. My husband is disappointed when I am down.
Why does he get angry when I am depressed?
He feels easily hurt by me.
I have to accept my condition, that I am damaged.
Sometimes I think he is depressed too.

 

[Jen]

Hi Felicity!
I can only give you a carers point of view! When my hubby is down I feel it rubs of on me he is shitty I am shitty it is a vicious circle!
It is difficult for someone to feel ok and happy when they are living with someone with depression.
And your right he probably has a bit of depression as well?

 

[Bella78]

Yes, he probably has a bit of depression too.

If he loves you and I am sure he does, he wants you to be happy. If he is like most of us carers, he is constantly trying to figure out how to help you and make you feel better and secure. He probably puts in a lot of effort to care for you properly and while I am sure he gets good results sometimes, maybe other times because your PTSD just won't let you feel happy. He then feels like he has failed.

He is probably not angry at you at all. He is angry at PTSD, that it rules you and won't let you live your life without pain - yet!

Imagine how it feels to be so patient, caring, gentle, only to have your sufferer call you a name and tell you to pi$$ off or something like that. We know you probably can't help it and don't mean it... but it is very difficult.

Hang in there, I'm sure you will both keep making progress with the help of this forum

AND MERRY CHRISTMAS!

 

[Linda]

I think that it is hard to feel fine when your partner is depresed. And it also may induce anger if your partner's depression interfers with your life.
This is probably just one way to deal with this problem: your husband needs to accept your problem, too, and understand that this is not up to you when to feel down.
Also just try to give him as much love and joy as you can when you are able to.

 

[wildcritter44]

Ups and Downs are just part of PTSD

Hi Felicitas,

I am a carer. My husband of 7 yrs has suffered PTSD for over 10 yrs and was "officially diagnosed" about a year ago.

He takes meds and does therapy. The improvement from a year ago this time is a bunch.

Depression is a large part of his PTSD. Living with someone day in day out and yes, we can't have a happy face glued on 24/7. So we get down some days, too. We get angry. We get frustrated. We get a bunch of various emotions...
:crazy::wall: :doh::stupid:

So.... we are human after all... The best I can say is: vent here, as you are NOT ALONE !!!

They need to accept our emotions as much as we accept and deal with their emotions. It may not be easy...but.. well that is just the way life is sometimes.

In the diary section I have written about my ups and downs as a carer to a PTSD sufferer. There are a lot of days that I can say "It just plain sucks -- big time!"

I still love him very much. I am still here to support him in any way I can. I help him when ever I can.

Hang in There

Hugs to you ..:Hug_emoticon:

Take care,

Donna

aka/wildcritter