When challenging core beliefs stirs up symptoms

[Justmehere]

Yeah, that's a good point @Living in the 70s - a break sort of happened last night through today. Totally unplanned, but now I'm back at trying to tackle these life changes. It's going a little better.

 

[ms spock]

You are working really hard at the moment. So please be careful of yourself. I don't know what self care looks like for you, but it is quite crucial.

 

[grit]

I have similar core issue: I am not a good person!

I feel the comment you made here: "Can anyone relate? I’m exhausted and frustrated that believing I’m a piece of crap *feels* easier and less stressful. Yeah, I know that’s not right thinking, I don’t need anyone to tell me that. Knowing intellectually this is a distorted thought is one thing... and facing that challenging this at its core, and taking action to live my life offline as though I’m a worthwhile person, is another thing. "

It feels your resistance to being feeling or being crap is the problem. Accept you are crap and a good person. For the longest time and still work in progress for me is feeling I cannot be both. I resisted being a bad person...but then I realised the apple does not fall from the tree that far. My mom is the worst person on earth and I have some of her in me BUT I also have my own chemicals and I am as bad as she was but also as good as she was and also as good and bad as I am.

I know blahahha and hard to put things into words - sometimes language (intellectualisation) simplifies feelings and emotions too much and feels farce but accept you are or have a big junk of you bad or crap but again same size or bigger good and amazing. Say it out loud until you feel it in your stomach - the other brain!

Your reaction to this core feeling is too over the top so it made me feel like you are in denial you can be bad person.

who is good sometimes! (-:

I put the space in between on purpose. See the feeling that comes in between.

 

[Justmehere]

You believe I’m in denial I can be a bad person?

 

[grit]

justmehere
Absolutely not!!!! because first and foremost we do not know each other and I could not in million years guess anything about you.

I am sorry if my words appeared cold and distant. It is possible I was not aligned when I wrote my comment above.
my intention was rather than fighting or resisting this belief (a belief not even a feeling), accept and see what feeling come over you. Or even if it is a feeling, allowing it so it is not so special and has power over you.

It is obvious no matter what I feel myself or even say, your feelings and your experience is yours alone and hope you find a respite exploring this side of you.

But I want to emphasize that I am sorry if my comments came off as you stated. and still and never do I feel you are a bad person.

 

[Tinyflame]

I haven't read all the responses, but what would we do if we lived without fear, and in the present, and with some self-kindness? Would we accept what is right or good for us, or run from what's good and accept only what is bad or abusive, as that's what we deserve?

I saw a sign the other day, "What are you searching for?", and I thought- 'Nothing'. (?) :confused: Isn't that sad, or 'wrong, -surely?', I thought. So I thought, 'I guess, relief? A way to manage?' But does not the 'managing', require change to the concept above, that I do not deserve, well, actually- anything. Whether that be food, etc etc. Anything.

 

[ms spock]

www.selfcompassion.org is a website that I have found really helpful. Tips for practice - Self-Compassion is important to read so you don't trigger yourself or if you do, you know what is going on.

 

[grit]

Symptoms are stirred in order to feel them as an adult so you can deal with them accordingly.
Otherwise you are dealing with just head and thoughts.

What is the meaning you experienced abandonment as a child? Unless the acknowledgement provokes the feeling and your body as an adult gets the connection of the provacation and the real 'symptoms' and soothe anyway you would if like you lost a job or broke up with a person.

If you have not become aware of how to soothe, then this is an area you can ask directly how to to in therapy.